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we could last...

Author: suicidalacts72
ASL Info:    20/f/WI
Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189 /150 /69
Words: 157
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1302
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1034


we could last...

goodbye my baby
always and forever
the next time i see you
i'll walk away saying whatever
you were my everything
made me so complete
you were the one thing
i never wanted to defeat
i let go for just a moment
what we had now is in the past
everyone was right
what made me think we could last?
your just another
selfish little boy
i was nothing more
than the newest toy
i was something to get used
then thrown away
replaced before
the very next day
your in a cell
almost released
i can't do this
leave me in peace
my heart shattered
pieces long gone
in the end you were right
and i was wrong
your jail sentence did
tear us apart
you knew it all along
i denied it from the start
we're suppose to live and learn
i never do
i doesn't matter
even though i still want you...

Submitted on 2006-04-24 14:11:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this is really really moving. you have a very strong talent and i love your poetry. there was nothing unclear and this held my attention. the legnth was good and this flowed beautifully.

nice job.
| Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by DontLetGo421 | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this poem it was great wrirting... the flow was good....
keep it up

| Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
  exelent piece of work. My favorite part of your poem is

"My heart shattered
"Pieces long gone
"In the end you were right
"And I was wrong"

this part was absolutly stunning. keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by red passion | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good. I think this speaks to alot of contempary culture. Many people stay in relationships that they know aren't healthy for them. Why? Because we want to be love, even if it destroys us. Nice job.
| Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this piece a lot more than the first one i read it's something i can sort of relate to losing someone who knew you would not last but you stayed untill your torn apart. good write. joanna
| Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by heartless_ | [ Reply to This ]

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