Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Herrick
    ASL Info:    20/M/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 20/29/11
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 991
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 257



    Description:
       Really short. The last two lines are both a little long compared to the others, and this needs a lot of work in many other places. As far as who it's for, I'll give you one guess... You wont need it though.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish I could explain
    And it's driving me insane.
    But even if I could,
    I wonder If I should.
    Yet, if you only knew...
    Ah... but what would it do?
    Would it hurt to let you see
    What it is you mean to me?




    Submitted on 2006-04-24 20:01:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Short and sweet. I liked it. It didn't drag on like some poems tend to do. It kept my attention and didn't have a confusing format or anything.

    Great Job

    ```Chrissy```
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by XxXPromiseMeXxX | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. It's short, but it works very well, and conveys your messege perfectly.

    Nice job

    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      ME commenting on this is pointless because this poem isn't based on structure or imagery or any of those things. This poem was written for her. And it is really beautiful.
    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really cute. I like the rhymes in this poem. I don't think the last 2 lines were too long for it. Actually...until I read the description afterwards....that thought didn't even cross my mind. And yeah....no one needs a guess. One word....JESSIE! But this was really nice. I'm adding this to my favorites list as well. I can slightly relate to this. That's another neat thing about this....by the way you wrote this....a lot of people in a few different situations can all relate to this. But...I do believe that this needs a proper name.
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I lOVE YOUR PIC! (I am a <3 tim burton, and i love nightmare before chritmas...i actually use that pic on MSN every now and then!)

    okay, on with the poem:

    I can sort of relate, maybe. About how you're not sure if you should tell someone how you feel, but you want too, but you don't know what they'd take it or something like that?

    And i agree with your description:
    The last two lines are a little too long for it.
    But I love the first two lines, they just click and sound really good.

    Kassandra
    | Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm usually not into shorter writes but i have to say this was pretty impressive, its funny how much you can say just by leaving alot unsaid, if that makes sense to anyone other then me. lol but there is one thing I have to say, and this is very hypocritical of me but I hate when a write is untitled, it just feels kinda incomplete. other then that though good write, I didn't even notice the two line thing, really if you hadn't mentioned it in your descrip I may not have noticed it at all.

    ~jessie~
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    100327

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry