[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Herrick
    ASL Info:    20/M/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 20/29/11
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1093
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 257

       Really short. The last two lines are both a little long compared to the others, and this needs a lot of work in many other places. As far as who it's for, I'll give you one guess... You wont need it though.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I wish I could explain
    And it's driving me insane.
    But even if I could,
    I wonder If I should.
    Yet, if you only knew...
    Ah... but what would it do?
    Would it hurt to let you see
    What it is you mean to me?

    Submitted on 2006-04-24 20:01:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Short and sweet. I liked it. It didn't drag on like some poems tend to do. It kept my attention and didn't have a confusing format or anything.

    Great Job

    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by XxXPromiseMeXxX | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. It's short, but it works very well, and conveys your messege perfectly.

    Nice job

    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      ME commenting on this is pointless because this poem isn't based on structure or imagery or any of those things. This poem was written for her. And it is really beautiful.
    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really cute. I like the rhymes in this poem. I don't think the last 2 lines were too long for it. Actually...until I read the description afterwards....that thought didn't even cross my mind. And yeah....no one needs a guess. One word....JESSIE! But this was really nice. I'm adding this to my favorites list as well. I can slightly relate to this. That's another neat thing about this....by the way you wrote this....a lot of people in a few different situations can all relate to this. But...I do believe that this needs a proper name.
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I lOVE YOUR PIC! (I am a <3 tim burton, and i love nightmare before chritmas...i actually use that pic on MSN every now and then!)

    okay, on with the poem:

    I can sort of relate, maybe. About how you're not sure if you should tell someone how you feel, but you want too, but you don't know what they'd take it or something like that?

    And i agree with your description:
    The last two lines are a little too long for it.
    But I love the first two lines, they just click and sound really good.

    | Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm usually not into shorter writes but i have to say this was pretty impressive, its funny how much you can say just by leaving alot unsaid, if that makes sense to anyone other then me. lol but there is one thing I have to say, and this is very hypocritical of me but I hate when a write is untitled, it just feels kinda incomplete. other then that though good write, I didn't even notice the two line thing, really if you hadn't mentioned it in your descrip I may not have noticed it at all.

    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Bond written by saartha
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]