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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Turningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Laz
    ASL Info:    22/m/WV
    Elite Ratio:    2.6 - 18/36/5
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1195
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Turningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When the fault of human emotions rise
    The faith shall be broken to lay in the ash's of all time.

    How then can one man live.
    To restore the fire of long past life.

    With his heart in the ground.
    With his face as a frown.

    How then can a man come to the point of turning.
    With his soul as distant and withering as the Burning sun.

    With what strenghth could he use, as the final wind blows.
    When will his strength fail
    When will he fall to the ash's of this burning world.

    When the sands of time fall each grain shall peirce the heart of his fate.




    Submitted on 2006-04-24 21:36:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      excellent. the wording was haunting and suited the meaning of the poem well.

    How then can a man come to the point of turning.
    With his soul as distant and withering as the Burning sun.

    this stanza really has an emotional imagry, it really makes one feel how lost the person really is. how hopeless it is.

    all in all, very morbid. i liked it
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by sinjen | [ Reply to This ]
      the ash's of all time... not quite sure what you mean but oh well! Need more poems Damien!



    Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-05-06 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ]
      hm..I really liked this one..confusing I think though..yet i'm tired and lost today..the flow was ok..but you used "burning" twice..i dunno that just threw me off..

    "When the sands of time fall each grain shall peirce the heart of his fate"

    I thought this was the best line..very unique..and easy to follow..that we have no control over our fate and future..yet wet try so hard to take control of what we cannot..sucks but you can't take control of, your scared of it..anywho lovely piece..confusing..but i'm sure you the writer gets it..keep up the good work!!

    Lucy^_^
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      Maybe it is just me, or the earlyness this morning.. but I really found this one hard to follow. I do like it, something seems out of place though.

    That being said, I did like this part in particular:

    "With what strenghth could he use, as the final wind blows.
    When will his strength fail
    When will he fall to the ash's of this burning world.

    When the sands of time fall each grain shall peirce the heart of his fate."

    What this is saying to me is that no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we struggle, we cannot overcome that which we cannot control.. Time, fate, death. In the end all the hardship and struggling is essentially futile, isn't it?

    Alltogether a good write, i'll try reading it again a bit later and see if my perception changes any.
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by Vampirism | [ Reply to This ]
      Laz
    This write is very intersting
    I like the way you put this together
    I strongly believe his strength will only take him as far as his mind and Heart allow him to go
    The Heart is the center of the human Body and also the center of the soul
    Remember even as powerful as the mind is it still needs the Heart to continually pump blood to the brain in order to survive
    God Bless
    Ron

    And in 5 more days you will be A Married man
    Congratulations
    I sure wish I could have been at the bachelor party (LOL)
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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