[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Family Treedots

    Author: Scribner
    Elite Ratio:    2.3 - 131/134/18
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1005


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFamily Treedots

    If I were walking in the woods
    and came upon my family tree.
    I might fall asleep on it's trunk,
    to drift away in history.
    Through the roots my soul would fly,
    just like an eagle soaring free.
    Seeing my ancestors faces
    Down the countless centuries.

    I'd wake to the smell of lilacs
    and of a honey-suckle blend.
    Bringing my distant reverie
    to an abrubt, but pleasant end.
    Then I'd hug the ancient tree trunk
    like one would hug a long lost friend.
    Breaking loose I'd spy some branches.
    Hand over hand, I'd start to ascend.

    Climbing up to the highes limbs
    I'd find a place to rest and see
    all the limbs were sick and twisted,
    brown leaves where green should be.
    Searching for a healthy blossom.
    Clutching it tight with childish glee,
    I'd lower myself to the ground
    and go plant my own family tree.

    Submitted on 2006-04-25 20:18:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I absolutely love, love, love this poem. I must say...u did an excellent job with this one. I love the flow to it and I love the way u paint a picture in my mind with ur words. Excellent work, my friend.
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by Amanda_d19 | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa, very good. The comparisons were amazing, and even the subject is original. It's a topic that many people overlook, so good job on choosing it. The rhyme was good too, it didn't seem forced.

    It reminded me a lot of my own family, how I love them so much even though they're not perfect. I really can't think of any suggestions to make. I think this poem is great just the way you wrote it.
    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by Amissa | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]