Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Passeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flamequill
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77/97/35
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1323
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 726



    Description:
       just something I slapped together just now...yeah...just comment on it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPasseddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The voices in my head
    won't stay silent
    always burning and returning
    bringing bak the pains of the past

    The yelling is madness
    cutting into my skin
    always searing and tearing
    returning the burning hell I had passed

    As I scream from my prison
    the dying passion grows stronger
    always mudering and killing
    the soul I needed to last

    The dying pains are growing
    ripping through the sounds of earth
    repeting the same old curse
    Your past you'll never outlast

    Dying and crying
    this time and place
    always tring and hiding
    onlyto find my life has already passed




    Submitted on 2006-04-26 12:28:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like your trapped, and past memories keep reoccuring for you. I liked the fact that you slapped it together so fast but still managed to keep your thoughts on point. My favorite Stanza was, "As I scream from my prison
    the dying passion grows stronger
    always mudering and killing
    the soul I needed to last", because it's like the more you feel the pain the more it haunts you and the stronger it becomes disallowing your to recover. So slowly your soul deteriorates from the killing of you passion.


    Nice jobe here buddy of Arson.
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    100604

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry