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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mind Expansiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 480
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 1079
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2679



    Description:
       Not sure that I like this at all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMind Expansiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    The maple stood. She cast her shadow for a family that was picnicing between her legs. She watched a couple at night and let them rest on each others arms on her branched. The night owl sang a song to lovers. The maple was a mother to them all.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    Oh pondering. She did think so much. Hidden inside her compact mirror, a bundle of LSD strips shattered glass in an attempt to be free. The girl was buisy. In her mind he lay underneath an oak tree with er in his arms. Beside the memory was a dream she kept for reasons that eluded her. In the dream she was afraid. It had something to do with trains. It had something to do with her standing on the tracks watching the train coming full speed towards her, and she never moved. She was held in place by fear. And then she would wake up. And linked to this dream were the chemicals of the drug. And the drug ran through and through her. He made his way through her memory. He traveled through her imagination. His journey ended at her eyes, and here with careful concentration he porjected every nerve ending through with a vision. Memory, imagination, fear, dreams, the China doll that her gaze was locked on all became one reality. As she stared at the China doll her soft milk white skin began to crack. The pieces of her face fell to the floor. Fell and fell and then rested. In the reflection of the glass he sat in a tree, and then slid down onto the tracks himself. Behind him a bright, powerfully blinding light created negative space around his body. His face and being was lost into shadows created by the blinding light. Then at once he was transformed. He was a growing abyss, decorated by scattered stars and the night sky.

    ----------------------------------------------------------


    The drug felt himself being injested. His curiousity kept him attentive, excited. He made his way slowly through her body. Her blood was a wonderful river for him to travel through. It would ultimately take him to her mind. Here he could figure her out. Unlock her secrets and tantalize her soul. He could make love to her with her own thoughts. Kill her with her own fears if her heart were to dare beat too fast. He was in control of her now. He was to expand her mind and create a new reality for her. He held her eyes tenderly. He artistic soul made it easy for him to mold her and create a very human hallucination. Created from all the things that made her mortal...her love, her hate, her fears. The drug smiled as he wrapped his fingers around the roots of her hair that fell in soft waves down her back.




    Submitted on 2006-04-26 13:11:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The drug felt himself being injested. His curiousity kept him attentive, excited. He made his way slowly through her body. Her blood was a wonderful river for him to travel through. It would ultimately take him to her mind. Here he could figure her out. Unlock her secrets and tantalize her soul. He could make love to her with her own thoughts. Kill her with her own fears if her heart were to dare beat too fast. He was in control of her now. He was to expand her mind and create a new reality for her. He held her eyes tenderly. He artistic soul made it easy for him to mold her and create a very human hallucination. Created from all the things that made her mortal...her love, her hate, her fears. The drug smiled as he wrapped his fingers around the roots of her hair that fell in soft waves down her back.


    *Clears throat*

    This freaked me out. Neat, though, how you wrote from the drug's point of view. But this still freaked me out.
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      you should really think about buddhism, Jazzy...it would be good for you....um, i like it
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very good peice. Very deep and personal. The wording is pheononimal, and it creates great imagery in your mind. This is one of the best peices I've read of yours, well in my opinion. I'm definitely adding this to my favs.
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with "orange". Aside from a few grammatical nitpicky things, which I will not point out individually, this piece is great. It took me a couple of times through to fully grasp it but it was worth the trip ;). This is definately a favorite. I'm sorry you do not like it and I really hope it isn't about you because if it is I feel really bad for getting pleasure from your pain.
    I do like this style of writing showing the perspectives of the inanimate as well as the animate. It is very thought provoking. Makes me wonder what my keyboard is feeling right now :)

    Owlman
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by owlman23 | [ Reply to This ]
      It is good to just write, that is what you are doing here, right? Sometimes what comes out isn't what we like, sometimes revising it can make it great, sometimes we just need a little to get the creative juices flowing again. Don't stop "just writing" cause often a good piece will come forth.
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you on a road to enlightenment? Do you meditate? Do you trip for spiritual purposes? I found this story interesting, and it makes me wonder if my group of friends aren't the only intelligent trippers left on the planet.
    | Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by NoMartyr | [ Reply to This ]


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