A beautiful nightmare. by Gothik

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Submission Name: A beautiful nightmare. dots

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Author:	Gothik
ASL Info:	22 / m / Canada
Elite Ratio:	3.36 - 93/132/30
Words:	97

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	235
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	723

Description:
For all those who felt crushed in the inside, with a beatiful secret, making you bleed from the inside.

Neko

A beautiful nightmare. dots

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Screeming in the inside,
Torn from all side,
Dreaming of a beautiful nightmare,
But should I'd be scared...

Yelling and screaming,
Feeling like falling,
In that beautiful insanity,
I might find serenity...

Bleeding to tell,
Raging to yell,
Kept to secrecy,
Feeding the pain in me.

Maybe should I tell you,
I could love you,
I'm torn from all side,
With this secret I should tell...

But don't you worry,
Soon you will see.
My nightmare will end,
I'll have peace of mind.

Should I tell you...
I might never go through.

Submitted on 2006-04-26 21:37:54 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I loved the poem on the writeing what i got from it was that he was holding in how he fealt for a girl and he wanted to tell her and it was hurting him not to tell her anyway it wassent cheesy if you ask me i loved it and it decribes how i fealt before.

~ Love Timely
| Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by Oscura | [ Reply to This ]
  aww! its not fair.. *i feel the same right now..* you captured this really well.. other than the typos other ppl touched on i can't really suggest anything.
good job *gives a hug*

<3 and PEACE
| Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ]
  Typo's:
screeming - screaming
thorn - torn
secracy - secrecy
trough - through

Good writing, keep it up!
| Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  This has quite a bit of typo's and I don't quite understand it's meaning... is it about death? You seem to have good writing talent, keep on trying!
| Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  this is kinda cheesy and your spelling honestly just sucks though.its cute though
| Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by unfixable | [ Reply to This ]
  Yep, it IS cheesy!

... Just kidding? Maybe? A little bit? Anyways.. you spelled screaming wrong. My impression of this you may ask? I think it's kinda cool but has some sadness in it. And sad is bad, so it must be a bad poem? A well written bad poem?
| Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
  Good to see you writing again.
I really like this for your come back piece. Very telling of your time, but still has the suclusion to be mysterious.

You have a few spelling errors. Thorn I think you meant thrown. and noever is never... and the last one is trough should be through.

Other than that, good job my friend.

~Kim
| Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]

[Screaming from] the inside,
Torn from all side[s]
Dreaming of a beautiful nightmare,
But should [I] be scared[?]...

Yelling and screaming,
Feeling like falling,
In that beautiful insanity,
I might find serenity...

Bleeding to tell,
Raging to yell,
Kept to secrecy[sp?]
Feeding the pain in me.

Maybe should I tell you,
I could love you,
[I am hurt internally
With this secret in me]

But don't you worry,
Soon you will see.
My nightmare will end,
I'll have peace of mind.

Should I tell you...[?]:
I might never go through.

Again, I noticed some typoes [I wasn't sure of one of the spellings myself. lol. I noticed a similar trend which you kept in between this and your other write. I really enjyoed the contradictions you had here. It made this write different from others in the category.

Abbas
| Posted on 2006-07-08 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]

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