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Night Bird


Author: owlman23
ASL Info:    29/m/al
Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 71 /75 /28
Words: 76
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1154
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 499



Description:


Not sure where this came from. Possibly a very dark and strange room in the depths of my twisted mind. Enjoy.


Night Bird



I heard your question echoing in the twilight,
And wondered why you asked.
“Are you curious or cursed?” I pondered aloud,
And shivered, as the midnight eye
Looked down once more upon me.
Your only answer, of course,
Was in the form of another pointed query.
I deemed your persistence,
Whether for knowledge or through force of infliction, Worthy of an answer.
So I replied into the darkness.


NO...




Submitted on 2006-04-27 03:56:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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Comments


  i like the idea, however, there are a few grammatical errors throughout the piece and they definitely take away from its beauty. you could also switch some words around so it all flows together better.

"I pondered aloud.
And shivered as the midnight eye
Looked down once more upon me.
Of course the only answer,
Was in the form of another pointed query."

might look a tad better like this:

"I pondered aloud,
Shivering, as the midnight eye
Looked down upon me once more.
Of course, the only answer
Was in the form of another pointed query."

thats just my suggestion. it mite work for you, mite not, idk lol.

otherwise a nice concept and interesting short read.

Take care
X
| Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]


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