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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 850
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 536



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsheartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    IF A HEART IS BROKEN
    CAN YOU LIVE ON
    IN A LIFE OF PAIN
    YOU MUST FIGHT TILL THE END


    IF A HEART IS BROKEN
    WHAT WOULD NOW BEGIN ?
    IN A LONELY LIFE OF SHADOW
    AS BLACK AS A MIGHTY CROW


    IF A HEART IS BROKEN
    WHO WOULD SURVIVE
    IN THIS TURN UP UNLOVED
    AND THERE IS NO BELOVED


    IF A HEART IS BROKEN
    WHERE CAN I BEGIN
    IN A SNOWED UP WINDOW
    AS YOU’RE MIGHTY WIND WILL BLOW




    Submitted on 2006-04-27 07:47:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good job. I enjoyed reading this. Maybe consider changing your title to Broken Heart or something. I just thought that maybe because your poem is more about what would it be if you had a broken heart so maybe consider that. I liked how you managed to get the last to wordds in each stanza to rhyme, but you forgot to make the first stanza have the same rhyming pattern. Very good job. Keep Writing. :P
    | Posted on 2006-07-05 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]


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