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    dots Submission Name: Hopeless Heartdots

    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1173
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 770


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHopeless Heartdots

    The gap grows larger,
    Absence is its fuel.
    Words unspoken,
    actions undone,
    visions unseen.
    The black hole deepens
    with every broken promise
    and every lie told.
    All faith has melted away,
    trust has now eroded
    into the dark,
    hollow space.
    Missing pieces,
    wishes lost,
    hope swollowed and spit out.
    Hearts are broken
    and tears are shed
    with every question left unanswered.
    Doubt weighs heavy,
    anger takes hold,
    uncertainty thickens the air.
    Wander takes flight,
    floating through the dark abyss,
    no light left to see,
    no answers to find,
    mysteries are burried alive...

    Submitted on 2006-04-27 08:59:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way this has been built up, and although this style can mess up a poem, you made it work very well for this one. I think this one really explains how things can go downhill very fast for a person, no matter what everyone else thinks.
    In line 17, you misspelt swallowed, and buried is only with one r.
    This is a really great piece, and I can't really think of a way to improve it.
    Great job!
    Take Care,
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]

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