wow thats a great way to discribe things ur very creative in your words
The desire of push and pull- My heart sings until many beats kill me. thats pretty deep a bit confusing maybe but still great i really liked how u discribe your feelings only the stomach part was a bit nasty to me only b/e im home sick ....very sick nice write
Interesting subject if I can say so. Passion always makes good poetry when it comes from the heart. Emotion flow with the words, but not everywhere though, which makes me think that some parts were ampliphied to put a bit of tragdy in it. It may not be true, but if it is, my only advice I could give you is: Always write with your heart and not your mind. Try to write your poem as it comes out, without forcing anything, and then replace a few words without replacing the meaning to create a good flow.
This is an awesome work of poetry anyway, I'm looking forward to see more of yours.