Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twisted Suicide Theorydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Faith_Disease
    ASL Info:    17/M
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 278/141/29
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 1017
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 572



    Description:
       Just comment. Generic emo shit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwisted Suicide Theorydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Anguish bleeds from my wrists
    cutting down into my soul.
    Feed off the shattered visions
    laced with crimson hate.
    Sew up the razor wounds
    caressed with angels' tears.

    Enrage me.
    Embrace me.
    Fly with me.

    Sacred prayers,
    reflecting scars,
    grind up nightmares.

    Condemn me.
    Betray me.
    Die with me.

    Delete the memories,
    Let go the crippled dreams
    of feigned salvation.
    The noose is falling,
    fly away with me.




    Submitted on 2006-04-27 15:13:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW that gun is scary lol anyway I like your poem its scary b ut cool. I hate guns sometimes. Because of bad experiance, but just wanted to comment you on this I really like the picture its nice/scary. anyway... yeah..
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by __B3cca__ | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sure there is nothing i can say that hasn't already been said by someone else, but here is my opinion. I liked this though. I think that you would like the song "The Noose" by A Perfect Circle. Check it out if you already haven't. I've read a lot of poems that follow this theme, but I'm not going to say it is a bit too cliché because i don't think it is. It was a good write. It flowed easily, and the rythme was pretty decent considering that this was a free verse poem. My favorite part was "Delete the memories,
    Let go the crippled dreams" I know that there are many things in my life that I've done, that I don't want to remember. Great write though!!
    ~Alyssa~
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      I am kinda lost on this one so therefore i cannot tell if i like it or not or if it needs work. BUt, on to the other poems!


    Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow..Well this was fu-cking awsome my friend, very good. I can relate, I loved the ending "Fly with me" I think that sums it up nicely. I think that my favorite parts were:

    "Enrage me.
    Embrace me.
    Fly with me."

    and

    "Condemn me.
    Betray me.
    Die with me."


    The comparison between those two stanza's was amazing, it just seperated everything..This was an amazing piece, I liked the title, I think thats what attracted me to it. Once I hit the first line, I was in to it, very emotional and painful, lets me feel everything that you feel, painted a sad image in my head. Keep up the great writes, Take Care.

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-06-09 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah very generic but also personal Ithink you gave it your own touch (kinda not making sense) cool write
    | Posted on 2006-05-07 00:00:00 | by Animus Custodis | [ Reply to This ]
      I am sitting here with my mouth wide open...I am just that shocked at how good this was from start to finish. I loved the flow wnd the wording. Good imagery. I was picturing it all, flying away all bloody and giving up on all things that would never come true. Deep and emotional. Powerful wording. This is a fav.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      From the first line I was dragged in because, personally, and probably to many, that line speaks out to me...it speaks so much....
    But to me, it seemed like the effect faded just slightly after the second stanza but then shot right but up again in the last one. That's not neccessarily a bad thing, it's just that maybe try to look it over and bump up the intensity of the other two stanzas, otherwise it was really really good!


    *Tox*
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      i do have respect for emo angsty poems because i used to write them A LOT, but idk this just doesnt seem to speak to me too much...i have to say though that this line stood out:

    "Sew up the razor wounds
    caressed with angels' tears."

    it sounds much better than the rest of the poem, and is the only thing close to original being that ive never heard of angel tears caressing anything lol.

    im sorry if im coming off as blunt, but with angsty poetry and all, there is so much you can do to expand upon it. most of the ones people see and read are so cliché and lack any real originality. granted, there are some that have broken free from the cliché and created some nice original pieces, but it would be nice to see some more people follow suit. it is possible to make beautiful angsty poetry without your raw depression screaming to be erased.

    you have the ability, so just try to harness it.

    take care
    X

    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]
      This was the best thing I've ever read from you, I love emo stop insulting emo lols. Really intense george.....your wording was awesome and the title was perfect. this whole thing really was brilliant. am sooo glad you posted it, favorite, no second thought on that. yeah I loved everything about it and the good comment thing says this is a bad comment but I don't care.
    amazing write,
    jess
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      um... wierd pretty much sums it up.... first of all its not about wacked out labratory expiraments and second its on suicide... what are you up to?!?!?!?! lol jk. yeah i dont know if i liked it as much as ur other ones. and I know youre gonna sk why so here it is. It didnt make much sense and I didnt get much imagery off of it.

    "Enrage me
    embrace me
    fly with me"

    unless you were trying to make it sound cool it didnt make sense same with

    "Condemn me.
    Betray me.
    Die with me."

    Maybe it has to do with the thoughts of the suicidal person alright then it makes some sense but they didnt make too much sense same with the last line. BTW I hate emo poems. and its too emo. I dont get it... whtvr i'll cal you soon.
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by Harmageddon | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall this piece was a little scary in the first read. I didnt get it, but do a little more now. My favorite parts had to be most all of it. Not sure what touched me the most, but i loved it. Imagery is good.

    Let go the crippled dreams
    of feigned salvation.
    The noose is falling,
    fly away with me.

    This part seems so sad...let go of crippled dreams. sometimes finding someone to "fly away with you" makes it all better, but sometiems it just casues more problems because that person has issues as well. Youve got a lot of comments, and thsi is a very good write. Loved all the stuff you've written so far. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem makes me want to cry because it is basically the story of my life. It flows really well. there's so much emotion, i seriously feel like i want to cry. This... it's really good. This is probably one of the best poems ive read
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by SOS33 | [ Reply to This ]
      My Friend this is a very powerful write
    I can feel the emotion you are writing of with every word
    This write I also believe is very important for some of your peers who feel the way you do to read
    Congrats on an excellent and deep write
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    100816

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry