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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: random freestylesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lost omen
    ASL Info:    18/ M/ AZ (thanx katrina)
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 43/43/7
    Words: 376
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 3664
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2306



    Description:
       as far as comments just tell me your thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrandom freestylesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (renigaed)
    mind in a tunnel/
    vision in a daze/
    walkin in a sandstorm/
    lost in it 4 dayz/
    swollen blisters and callous/ on my feet and toes/
    when this turmoil ends/
    only god knows/
    harbored fellings of malice/
    anger vex and rage/
    all released in verses/
    written on the page/
    hold my breath and ponder/
    whatever is next/
    watchin images and/ visions within this text/
    feelings lost and twisted/
    caught inside this blur/
    didnt kno where i am /
    where i go where i were/
    finally given up/
    hope gone and diminished/
    i lay down in final rest/ and my story is finished/

    (nalij)
    stop the clock and rock the beat, im pop-locking/
    deejocking, switching out the options like monopoly/
    trading and selling out my property/
    im honestly the best ever, trend setter, leather taneed muther fucker rocking argyle sweaters/
    can't touch me, rookie of the century/
    lets see you spit with no teeth, greet me when i enter the screen/
    HOT
    like magma, i shit fire and fart brim/
    respect my authority, im a senior nigga, call me cartman/
    on like belches, welter weight champ/
    i leave the stage and page written with your chicks knickers damp/

    (anonymous)
    yo i'm in a marathon and i'm leading the race/
    march right up to the white house just to blast bush in the face/
    displaced from the place of my birth/
    gotta carry a medipac in case u get hurt/
    cuz my words bring pain to the masses/
    see ur black reflection on my glasses/
    healing my spiritual gashes/
    existing on earth as heaven and hell clashes/
    finally found a place to reside/
    plans of mass murder with these blueprints i devise/
    all these commercial niggas are useless in my eyes/
    what is life if we choose it just to die/
    every angle is congruent when i fly/
    my rhymes just seems to continue as i vibe/
    the slums are a breeding ground for pain/
    trying to breathe through all the strain/
    and delve deeper in my brain to dwell where my heart remains/




    Submitted on 2006-04-28 00:29:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      All three of them were good
    when i first read it i liked the second verse the best. But after reading them throroughly i really cant decide. Metaphors and punchlines were good
    PC
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey bubz,
    i iked this a lot, you have gud flow and vocab, you have a gread talent for writting and getting your thoughts known in such a poinant way.
    keep em cummin
    kyrenia
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this, because I think it's neat when people type out freestyles and post them. I've tried it and it's so hard, I have the utmost respect for people who can freestyle on the spot well.
    mmhmmm. yeah, that's it.
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]


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