Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dillemmadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1218
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 630



    Description:
       be honest... please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDillemmadots
    -------------------------------------------


    Days became weeks,
    Weeks turned to months
    And months have turned to years,
    Though time has gone by
    Your still on my mind.

    I dont want you in my thoughts
    And i cant get you out,
    I dont want to remember
    And i cant seem to forget.
    I think of you more now
    Than i used to before.

    Your the wound i care for most
    But the pain just grows.
    My mind wants other things
    But my heart wants you.
    I'm too weak,
    Cant fight you anymore,
    So i'll let you be,
    And this dillemma i have to live with.




    Submitted on 2006-04-28 02:33:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      its lovely and tortured. i can relate

    i really like this line "So i'll let you be,
    And this dillemma i have to live with"
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by emb_er77 | [ Reply to This ]
      StankieFrankie says "ditto" to Scribner. A great show of the lingering emotions of attachment. And yes, this must be a common thread between the diverse human experience. And as for this your writing, StankieFrankie approves!
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by StankieFrankie | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes- I lyke that lyne, particularly, too...
    Thys was very simply straightforward and to the point with no mist of 'art' surrounding it and it makes it hit so much harder. It's raw. It has no skin. (these are compliments)

    Change the couple "your" to 'you're' because that's what you mean. And then it is perfect in my opinion.

    Keep up the great work, and remember::: Your mynd just contains the thoughts- itís your heart that feels the pain.

    !Mr. Beck!
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Maguir3_B3ck | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good. I think we have all been in this place. And those who haven't, hold on it's coming:) Nice write. I really like the line:
    You're the wound I care for most.
    Very good. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    100888

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry