Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: if lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 807
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 567



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsif lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If life is just a journey
    The world is lost at sea
    The tides are allways changing
    Or so it seems to me

    If life is like the water
    My friends would be the shore
    We would depend on the weather
    As we did once before

    If life is just existence
    Then i guess were not real
    Our blinkered eyes dont realy see
    our scars dont realy heal

    If life was to be just a book
    My tale would never end
    And in to my stormy eyes you look
    As together we both leave




    Submitted on 2006-04-28 06:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Life is like a womans anus, you never know whats gonna come out of it =p
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I liked the metaphor use that you used throughout your poem. That was really cool. But I wouldn;'t end it like you did, either add on or take that stanza off, because it doesn't make your good poem end so well.
    Also, get rid of the caps lock, lol, it makes me feel like you're screaming your poem at me rather than trying to explain the way you feel to me.
    Otherwise, I really liked the whole idea of it, it could just use some work.

    Welcome to ES, message me and we can stay in touch if you want!

    *Toxic*
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    100905

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry