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    dots Submission Name: if lifedots

    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 807
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 567


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsif lifedots

    If life is just a journey
    The world is lost at sea
    The tides are allways changing
    Or so it seems to me

    If life is like the water
    My friends would be the shore
    We would depend on the weather
    As we did once before

    If life is just existence
    Then i guess were not real
    Our blinkered eyes dont realy see
    our scars dont realy heal

    If life was to be just a book
    My tale would never end
    And in to my stormy eyes you look
    As together we both leave

    Submitted on 2006-04-28 06:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Life is like a womans anus, you never know whats gonna come out of it =p
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I liked the metaphor use that you used throughout your poem. That was really cool. But I wouldn;'t end it like you did, either add on or take that stanza off, because it doesn't make your good poem end so well.
    Also, get rid of the caps lock, lol, it makes me feel like you're screaming your poem at me rather than trying to explain the way you feel to me.
    Otherwise, I really liked the whole idea of it, it could just use some work.

    Welcome to ES, message me and we can stay in touch if you want!

    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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