Tattoo by ebflannery

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Tattoo dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	ebflannery
ASL Info:	24/
Elite Ratio:	4.6 - 184/184/48
Words:	74

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	184
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	456

Description:

Tattoo

-------------------------------------------

I close my eyes,
And there you are,
Forever, etched in time.
I give my heart away-
All but for one small part,
Which forever belongs to you-
The one with the beautiful
Spanish Eyes.
The one to whom I could never lay claim
And of whom I will never be free-
For it is impossible to erase
The first love,
The one who was tattoo'd
Upon your soul

Submitted on 2006-04-28 12:09:14 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  this made me think a bit of a poem i wrote called "tattoo of the sun" (which i've since deleted).. the same idea, someone etched into your heart and soul just like a tattoo. it's a great metaphor for the permanence that such a love can bring. i tend to agree with you that the first love does just that.

good work.

peace,
~Cat
| Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the metaphor there. Tattoed upon your soul...it's really deep.
I liked the non-rhyming, but I think you should try to make one that rhymes as well, it would give more depth into your skill possibly.
Very heartfelt and good description of your feelings. I liked the shortness of it and I don't think you need to elaborate on its length. Good job.

Peace....for now or later
*Toxic*
| Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, you were able to communicate very deep love with this poem without being clichéd and it wasn't long at all. The shortness of this poem really surprised me. I loved these lines the most

"And there you are,
Forever, etched in time. "

I love this, etched in time, that is original and just really describes the love with few but powerful words. I loved this line too.

"The one who was tattoo'd
Upon your soul"

The is so powerful because its so true, your first love just never leaves your mind its stuck with you. This is brillaint. I really enjoyed this poem, a favorite, because of its truth and sincerity without sounding like all the other love poems out there. Amazing.

Peace
| Posted on 2006-04-29 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
  Short and sweet...liked the voice on this one...its heartfelt yet not so sweet that it becomes sickening...you know what I'm talking about right? We all have those moments where we remember the person we were happy with and then realize we had no chance with them..or, in a simular instance we lost someone we love and we can't seem to move on...thats what i got out of this poem...am i right or am i way off again? See, I'm a short story guy so if i'm wrong you can be like oh he sucked or whatever but good submission...i liked it.
| Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by norm | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.