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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Family and Friendsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DrewDilla
    ASL Info:    25/M/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 131/195/50
    Words: 291
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 675
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1445



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFamily and Friendsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Family and Friends are everything, and no I never sing but come up with clever things to say to whoever is standing in my way. Like they’re so important. Is this something I have to rant? STOP! STOP! But I can’t. So I start to chant---Family and Friends are there to the ends of time---Repeat twice-----So treat on to them as you want goodness from them. So you shine like a gem. And I had this one friend standing straight as a stem from out that nugget. The one that u could hug it cause it looked all good. Not at all brown like wood. Like back in the day that’s where I stood, but if I could I would smoke dank and treat my friends like workers in a bank like those you would always thank. Even if they would pull a prank like--- switching your bank account numbers for those money transfers the shit that makes your nerves curve and swerve out your skin like they’re coming out from within like you pulled off the worst sin now you’re not going to win. Like you’re locked in a Penn then all of a sudden your friend is there and you don’t even care and remember that you’re the Big Red Bear. Remembering that things are always fare that there is an equal positive there…So you don’t care no more. Say good bye then out the door. Then you get hardcore and want more bad things to happen. So you can start laughin cause the good comes out from within, And only when u sin. Cause the bad brings good. Is this understood?




    Submitted on 2006-04-28 17:52:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      you have amazing insight, all u have in life are people and it's up to you to let them in, but it's up to them to stay....know what i mean. Family is suppose to be the most important and then friends, but what if they don't understand u? what do u do then? anyhoo, u were right i do like this write. i like how it just goes along doing it's own thing, very good. i always treat people how i want to be treated or at least i try too, and by the way i like the dank.
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      This was writen like that. To show I can just flow. With out haven to use spacing as a crutch. See I can hear a beat in my head. Can you?
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      I have one complaint.
    It's terribly difficult to read and get the rhymes. Could you restructure it?
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-11-11 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      Again. Your honesty and bluntness in a poem brings things to light. I feel very enlightned by this poem. Almost as if I was floating back into my own memories...
    | Posted on 2006-10-12 00:00:00 | by LovelyGoddess | [ Reply to This ]
      This was definately enjoyable. I can not complain about the rhymes here, and I liked the idea of keeping it all in one paragraph. I could relate to this and so I found it particularly enjoyable. Thanks for sharing this


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey. I liked it. You definetley make ppl think in your poetry, and this one made me think how I acutally do treat my family and friends. I think i treat thm well. Good job an dcontinue to write
    ~Caotic~
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Drew~
    I always enjoy reading new pieces from you. I sometimes have to read them more then once to fully understand what it is that you're putting out there but that's just your style (you make people think). This piece is different from the others- the title is very fitting. I do think you could break up this a little bit. It seems crammed together but you 'done did good'.
    Later~
    T.
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by Tonya V. | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good write
    I find this write interesting as it speaks truth and was cleverly written so all different styles of writing unite
    Excellent Job with this one
    God Bless
    Ron

    And My Friend if you look at like the first 25 poems that I have posted they all rhymed
    I just flowed away from the rhyming game after tose writes
    Take Care
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a good read
    the rhymes were nice. as i was reading it, it flowed like a freestle. i liked the way you had real to write about.

    PC
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it...it really made me think .... good job! :)
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Ellie Schneider | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good to treat your friends and family with respect. Hate people who don't.
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]



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