[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: twisted logical sensedots

    Author: Roula
    ASL Info:    18/female
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 46/64/45
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 948
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 381


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstwisted logical sensedots

    You are the reson why
    shy seems sober
    and words go mute.

    I'm fustrated in fragile thoughts
    not knowing where to place them.
    Secondhand words wont do me any good.

    I'm torn
    split in two.
    Deception twists logical sense.

    Pity will guide your expectations
    until you lose defense.

    Submitted on 2006-04-29 19:41:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I *really* like the first stanza of this, very very nice. Need to fix the typos in this but other than that, very nicely done very moving without being cliché.
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by ziska | [ Reply to This ]
      lol, okay I want to point something out real quick and it may be something really retarded to point out, but it just amuses me. In your picture, you're all smiling and happy, like you have a perfect life...but in the two writings I've read from you, they were both sad and depressing. lol, it may just be me, but for some odd reason I find that funny.
    Anyway, This was a nice write. Nothing wrong with it as far as I can tell. My favorite part was "Secondhand words wont do me any good". I likedthat a lot for some reason. To me, it sounds like people have been telling you things that someone else said...at least that's what I get out of it.
    Anyway, nice write.

    Peace....for now or later
    | Posted on 2006-04-29 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]