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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: At Night She Criesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poetry chica
    ASL Info:    17/f/usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 93/98/34
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Broken
    Total Views: 956
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1406



    Description:
       i know this is pretty crappy but it kinda just came to me so idk if you hate it then don't be afraid to say so


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAt Night She Criesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She thought he'd always care
    Always hold her close
    She believed his promise to forever be there
    Shows how much she knows
    He left her there without a warning
    Standing there in the dawn's pale light
    He left her there that October morning
    She let him go without a fight

    (But at night she cries)
    Hurt me if it heals you
    Kill me if it makes you smile
    Hit me if it feels good
    Drag me for a thousand miles
    I'd do anything to make you happy
    I gave up everything i had
    But all you did was leave me
    Alone here, broken and sad

    He broke her heart
    And left her lonely
    She tried to get a fresh start
    But could think of him only
    She cries herself to sleep at night
    Wishing he'd come home to her
    He's the one that held her close and chased away her fright
    Now without him she's scared, rooted to the floor

    (And at night she cries)
    Hurt me if it heals you
    Kill me if it makes you smile
    Hit me if it feels good
    Drag me for a thousand miles
    I'd do anything to make you happy
    I gave up everything i had
    But all you did was leave me
    Alone here, broken and sad




    Submitted on 2006-04-30 00:15:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was poem was filled with great expressive lines. Deep and romantic. But at the same time i have an opinion. i disagree with what this write says about love. No one should go through pain or suffer immensely for someone they love. its just doesnt make sense. But its just my opinion and i know their are exceptions soo i will stop here. it was a good read..

    THanks
    SInceerly
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm..I really liked this piece.Very sad, and heart breaking. I have a poem somewhat like this, havn't posted it yet..don't think I will..A bit too private for me, but anywho I know how it feels to love someone so much, and you would do anything just to see them smile, even it involves hurting yourself in return..been there..crying over a person isn't the best way to get over them, believe me I know..You just need to not think about it as much, because apprently this 'guy' didn't love you as much as you adored him..You deserve better!

    Anywho this isn't about the poem, but I couldn't help but to be attracted to your icon..A cut up wrist, eh?..interesting..Not the best of addictions me dear..

    Anywho keep up the great work, hope to read more of your pieces when I have the time!Take care!

    Lucy^_^
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a very nice romantic poem, and I think it's beauty comes from the sadness it expresses. It's like an ongoing sad-ending. A teen with a broken heart- a condition for growing up. I would say the poem's structure is good, I'd only advice you watch the rythm a bit. In some parts it doesn't roll very well with the tongue. Other than that, it's just a beautiful poem I enjoyed reading.
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by Erik | [ Reply to This ]


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