I like the format of this piece and how the last sleep is italicized as if you have fallen asleep. you definitely rambled on a bit in this piece but it only added to the "sleepiness" tone of it. the part where you said the only thing holding in your eyes were your eyelids made me laugh out loud. i actually pictured your eyes trying to pop out. you use really strong imagery and i enjoy that. this was fun. continue writing.