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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: SLEEPdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Krankheit
    ASL Info:    19/F/Ma
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 2/6/6
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 918
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 926



    Description:
       I wrote this last night when I was very tired. I wanted to write something. So I just wrote about sleep and let whatever I was think about it, while very tired.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSLEEPdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My eyes are drifting
    the only thing keeping them in
    are my eye lids? my lids
    my sockets are sore. overused
    Blinking fells good. real good
    Though I open them up again
    and I am back where I started

    SLEEP

    I could be sleeping
    It is an option. A very tempting one
    but I reject it. I don't know why
    Ther is always some other meaningless task
    I'm just in denial.
    still am in denial

    SLEEP

    I need sleep I'm going to sleep.
    when am I going to sleep?
    Hopefully it will be soon
    I'm not even looking
    I'm sleeping with my eyes open
    and writing with them closed.

    SLEEP




    Submitted on 2006-04-30 10:34:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the format of this piece and how the last sleep is italicized as if you have fallen asleep. you definitely rambled on a bit in this piece but it only added to the "sleepiness" tone of it. the part where you said the only thing holding in your eyes were your eyelids made me laugh out loud. i actually pictured your eyes trying to pop out. you use really strong imagery and i enjoy that. this was fun. continue writing.

    ~cynthia
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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