Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Die Slowly Insidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kay
    ASL Info:    15/f/
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 216/197/68
    Words: 496
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1171
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3127



    Description:
       so.. i don't care what people think any more
    so go ahead and send me as much as hate mail. yeah i hate politics and Bush. cus me out. i'll just laugh at you for wasting your time typing some sentence on about how Bush is such a nice guy. i'm just a little girl, and sometimes i dream of being some one different. I imagene it and day dream... but i have to face the facts, i can't change the person i am today, and you can't either. so you can fill me up with your opinions about Bush. i'll just ignore.

    the way the world is.. it does make me feel like shit... it made me realize i am nobody. when i'm around my family or friends. they actually make me feel like some one. and that is the reason why i still live. that is the reason why i haven't put the knife onto my wrist and die.. and pictures like the one below. May God 4give them.

    and if its not working.. than just go here








    http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/9519/racistkrackers3ux.jpg



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDie Slowly Insidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i'm a helpless little child
    lost & hopeless
    sitting in the corner
    humbled, i'm just another mourner

    across i spy a shiny object
    i crawl over
    thinking it might be something sweet

    i place the object on my fingertip
    suprising, it hurts, and it is sharp
    the pain isn't compared to the lonlyness
    i feel all the time with my heart

    the killing melody of the air
    rushing from outside
    i know some people care
    so i place the sharp object aside

    i live on
    and turn my opinions off
    i live life
    yet others have died
    its like others wish they had what i had
    but they are out their sad
    suffering and with no guide of a hand
    yet i take advantage and act as if i care less

    because i'm a hopeless
    child with no heart
    i grab the sharp object
    i deserve to be dead
    but i have so many people that say they love me...
    ...this is reality
    and i throw the sharp object
    across the room, breaking the mirror
    and now i see so much of me
    i hate these kind of dreams

    the antention, i try to hide
    cus i hate it with all my might
    i want to die
    i don't deserve this life


    i'm a helpless litte kid
    this world, the way it is
    makes me feel like shit
    the bombs turning the blue sky
    pitch black, making our people die
    of the smoke that fills their lungs
    and innocent people being hung
    the children with no guidness
    the suffering in poverty
    the government, hiding our history
    and the only way we can live the American Dream
    is to become documented, yet betrayed
    at the same time, we are planting our own seeds
    Bush having the life of his time in his shit-hole ranch
    when our troops die in pain
    while trying to protect us from Iraq
    wich they say was dangerouse
    cus he assumed they were building
    bigger weopons than USA
    9/11 made us realize something much bigger than hate
    it was called pain
    & fear
    and so much more...
    i wish i never opened my eyes too this kind of stuff
    i wish i could just close the door
    and live this life when i was younger


    when i used to chase after butterflies
    and never heard of the world 'die'
    and i never knew guns actually existed


    life was much better
    when my eyes were closed



    i'm a helpess little child
    with fear
    i sit in the corner
    hugging my teddy bear, and screams is all i hear

    the shiny object lays beside me
    i leave it there
    i'll just get up and live this life
    that was giving to me, as long as i have a family that cares

    i'll just die slowly inside
    as i see the life pass by others




    Submitted on 2006-04-30 17:25:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have no idea what all the "controversy" about bush is.
    I'm sure he's a nice guy, I'm sure most presidents have been nice guys, but that doesn't change the fact that anyone can be blinded by power, corrupted, or simply have a different opinion of what is "the greater good", and thus I choose not to ever rag on politicians that hard, it's hard being a human being, and that doesn't exclude famous human beings, it's simply easy to objectify them as "things".

    Anyways, I find it very interusting the way you feel, feeling like you have no use in the world, but feel better when you're somebody around your friends and family. Very interusting, not that it's unheard of, just that this isn't at all how I feel. Everybody is a nobody to somebody, ever here that saying? Maybe it can cheer you up some. Everyone is a nobody to somebody, and if you're a somebody to everybody, what does that make you to yourself but nobody?

    as far as the poem goes, it was good. some lines were a bit cliché, but they felt heart felt, i suppose perhaps the poem felt overshadowed by both yourself, and the other comments posted here, oh well
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah my dear,
    Your pink shoes are pretty.

    But none of the 42, even the Dead ones would want to wear his shoes.

    And as Don Baker found out from Goldie Hawn...Butterfiles are free!

    I see that you are a 14 year old girl, I might suggest one of my poems... Obsidian It's about three 14 year old girls who all grew up too fast.

    Donn
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      One word actually,

    Naive

    Very naive... think about it!
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Well.. you know whatever dusnt kill ya makes u stronger... I wouldnt say i hate bush but i can see why others can... But the fact is... They were building bombs, they were and saddaam who is insane, was killing his country, and he was like another hitler so to speak... Soldiers have died, and we can mourn for that, but do we hate the prime minister who sent the young aussi men off to gallipoli, no... Cuz they died for our freedom. except these soldiers died for the people who couldnt fight for themselves, they died for the innocents freedom. The children in iraq who couldnt defend themselves, the people, women, children, men who couldnt get rid of sadam hussein. And hes not the only one who sent soldiers off to iraq. john howard did as well... He sent australian troops off to help u guys fight for the greater good. And YES sum auzi troops have died. But for the greater good. And say what you will, about john howard, george bush, and tony blair... but they are doing whats right for the greater good. Rather than what is right for the minority. John howard btw, isnt a puppet of G.B he made his own decisions for his own reasons.

    And no! im not pro war! Im actually pretty much lets try and avoid it as much as possible. But you know, at some point in your life you have to get past yourself, and see whats right for others, rather than what is right for yourself.

    I don't hate you, or the other person who commented. It's a matter of opinion.

    Other than that

    Your poem was actually pretty good. It's good to hear that people have opinions and arn't afraid to put them out there... So well done!! :D

    anyhooo

    Peace Out

    Me
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi I second that! [censored] BUSH! I reallly love this poem I'm putting it on my fave list and going to digest befor I dare to comment on such an interesting and deep poem. You rock!

    hauntedrose
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by hauntedrose | [ Reply to This ]
      let me start by saying this in big letters.

    F
    U
    C
    K

    G
    E
    O
    R
    G
    E

    B
    U
    S
    H

    hes a murderer and a child taker. a home wrecker and of the sort a meddling fool. one day this man will be cast down beyond his own greed into a place that no man dare enter. and i can feel that in gods heart he would surely agree with you and i.

    anyways, to your poem i would have to say it touched my heart, or whats left of it i should say. this world has been ransacked by political leaders and no gooders like him. here is where i fall off. good expression. you really put it into words how you felt. and i appriciate that more then anything. when i read this i felt sad 1st off like your just screaming and praying but no one at all can hear you. and youve definately intended that. i can see you sitting there in a corner just rocking back and forth hoping someone comes and saves you from this isolation you feel. i feel this and see this because of your strong content, in mainly the beginning. if you wanna know how to improve i suggest more balanced stanzas and use your words in a more poetic way instead of just saying it so bluntly. i know recently ive been on this power trip with alot of people on this board about using stronger imagry in poetry but your supposed to paint a picture that allows your reader to not only hear but to see feel (and taste sometimes if ya ask me.) what is going on in the storyline. and yes it was definately orignal in the sense of your experience.

    hope this helps.

    please dear god come by and read my poem entitled forward towards a titled chair (or something like that...) i could really use a could anaylys on this one. its got good imagry ill tell ya that!

    alrighty have a good day and keep your spirits up.
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    101209

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry