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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A breath of blackdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 728



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA breath of blackdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lost within
    the black un-seeming,
    I behold the forest grim
    I bathe rapture-naked in the tremolos
    sighing of sunless streams,
    stark beauty
    that lies
    behind
    livid eyes
    burst
    aglow with feral fires.
    The utter coldness of night,
    wreathed
    in unwavering solitude,
    comes to squat upon my chest.
    I may fail to sleep,
    for brooding eternally
    comes the haunting hunger,
    an otherworld of purple twilight,
    seeping,
    from
    iridescent arbors
    into
    undying blood roses.
    In these shadowy groves
    oblivion never simply
    rests,
    it
    aspires.




    Submitted on 2006-04-30 21:36:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I’ve been coming to visit this poem every now and then. It’s the black that draws me. And finally I could no longer stand seeing that 0 beside reviews so I had to come and tell you how much I love this poem, really I should just have copied it instead of coming all the way over here all the time. A breath of black….that is such a rich arresting image….but I can feel it warm in my face, but cold too…how odd. But I love being outside in the soft blackness of night, warm or cold it doesn’t matter, it’s the heavy pressing blackness I love. Wow, I haven’t even gotten past the title, I better get going here.

    Lost within
    the black un-seeming,
    of the forest grim


    I am struggling with two possibilities here…either you are lost within the black unseeming or it is lost within you…both are possible…I like the idea of the second, for then you have the darkness surrounding you, but you recognise the darkness in you as well. Really I wonder about the placement of the comma after unseeming, I guess that is what led me to those thoughts, but perhaps you have just put it there and it doesn’t belong there, but really it doesn’t matter because it just allows me to squeeze more meaning out of this poem, whether you put it there on purpose or not.

    I bathe rapture-naked in the tremolos
    sighing of sunless streams,

    Now this is my favourite line…wait, let me just soak it up for another minute…if I start going on and on about this line now this review will not end so just know that it is absolutely wonderful. The ultimate of skinny dipping at night but I get the feeling it is your soul that is bathing.

    The utter coldness of night,
    wreathed
    in unwavering solitude,
    comes to squat upon my chest.

    Wonderful image. This makes me think of how I feel sometimes, when I can almost feel eternity watching me, and really at that moment I am not sure how much I should fear it, I just sense it there, waiting, watching ….looming and heavy.

    You mention blood roses and I really don’t know enough about the dark imagery to do your poem justice here, so I will simply end my review by saying this poem conjures up so many things that I cannot adequately express, and I love it. ~chris
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]


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