This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Skeleton In Motion

Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 169
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 920
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1149


Skeleton In Motion

And she marks the calendar
With her special pink pen
A tick for passed
A cross for failure

From one day
To the next
She can look
But never touch

It’s like a trophy
Almost an award
When she looks at the scales
And she’s 3 kilos lighter

But 3 isn’t just enough,
It’s like a habit
An addiction
Not to eat

Starves herself to the bone
People know but say nothing
It’s like walking past
A skeleton in motion

The mirror image
To her reflects the worst
An image
Of what she is not

The desired figure
Of what she wants to be
She still doesn’t realize
That’s who she once was

I look at her from afar
And wonder why
And how
Someone could be that way

And one day
I turn to the mirror
And realize the girl
I always see

The girl I couldn’t
Ever understand
I couldn’t help…
Was the girl me

Submitted on 2006-05-01 01:01:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I don't know...this felt...DESCRIPTIVE to me...does that make sense? Not a lot of emotion in it for such an intense topic. Like the cover of a book vs reading it...there is so much more underneath that needs to be brought out.
| Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice! Another good write.

Anorexia well captured, including the way people around SEE but don't DO anything.

All too often one's self image is SO very different from how others percieve you.

I thought the TITLE was very apt and the reflective (no pun intended) hook at the end of the last verse, thought provoking.

Well done,


| Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by Psyve | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?