Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Between twodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 137/243/158
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 914
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1011



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetween twodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Guitars have died, the strident violins
    Have hushed away defiant strings,
    Their agitation kept vibrating in the
    Perfumed air against the reddened fingers.

    It was all petals, mortal white of lotus
    And delicately pink of blooming buds
    To sting and suffer in the cold and sail
    Into the hands of a fortuitous stranger.

    I saw you by the banisters,
    your face brushed by the light
    and stretching across the opening
    gates of universe,
    a shifting mold
    on the wetted window glass.

    Duality of our sins is no longer
    Smeared with awkward innocence
    Like stained and swollen lips;
    The river ate away the summer,
    Our sunset,
    Silent watchmen leave
    To guard our convoy ferries,
    While we kiss each other's eyes
    Forgive,
    Forget and meet
    Sometime
    Beneath high-ceilinged twilight.








    Submitted on 2006-05-01 10:10:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Man! I can feel this....Best lines to me are
    your face brushed by the light
    and stretching across the opening
    gates of universe.......DUDE!
    I had to shift position on that......

    Duality of our sins is no longer
    Smeared with awkward innocence
    Like stained and swollen lips;

    UM HUH.....
    Like the first date....Then after the night has weaved it's mysterious magic we come together in a sea of knowing....
    Keep that going.......I'll be stopping by your page in the future for sure!
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ]
      expiring_touch,

    This is beautifully worded and very powerful. I love the decadent feel this has. It exudes this classic, patrician aura that makes for quite the reading experience. I really loved your imagery and descriptions in this. All in all a solid, unique write.

    Thanks for sharing.

    drowning_queen

    (oh, and I'm faving this)
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    101305

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Giving written by jjd
    This written by Chelebel
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry