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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Saw of the chaindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rhaine
    ASL Info:    25/Yes/An Alley
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 660/744/196
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1013
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 762



    Description:
       la la la


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSaw of the chaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    greasy teeth
    hanging low
    gonna come around
    and cut your throat
    ha ha ha
    watch me now
    here i come
    gonna kill you now

    dirty little bastards
    in a line
    bringing you blood
    for all the time
    ha ha ha
    you better run
    i'm the child
    who's holding a gun

    can you hear the sounds from me?
    leaning and screaming
    after you
    ripping and tearing at the skin

    slicing your veins wide open

    well well
    whats this then?
    some one came around
    and shot the wren
    feathers flying and beaks busted

    ha ha ha
    you thought you could run?





    Submitted on 2006-05-02 08:56:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      uh..I think this is more humor..or sarcastic death..the whole "hahaha" took away any bit of serious-ness from the poem..But I guess that was your intension. The flow of the poem was good though, kinda fast pace, although the last 3 stanzas broke up the flow, and made it slower..they were more chunky..anywho this was a good piece, i believe meant more for humorous anger.Good job!

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]


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