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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sad song, silly stupid girl...call her Patheticdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 324



    Description:
       I guess this is how I feel and it makes me want to vomit. I hate feeling so sad and pathetic. I should be happy. So about this write, you don't have to take it too seriously because I was getting emotions out. I kinda like it...then again, it's mine so I hate it as well. Conflicting feelings.


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    dotsSad song, silly stupid girl...call her Patheticdots
    -------------------------------------------


    numbly she turned up the bottle of wine
    and she was so tired of this routine she threw it away
    happy, never anymore
    was she
    alone, like times before
    was she
    without thought she turned to the door and walked away
    and what if when she crossed the threshold she just diappeared?




    Submitted on 2006-05-02 12:49:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's so sad when you wish you could just disappear. Lonelyness, unhappiness and compensatory measures like alcohol really gives this poem attention. Then when you want to hear more, it's finnished. How about extending it just a little because I can see that you have a lot to tell.
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by Sannita | [ Reply to This ]
      its too short to capture the full emotion. some things you can downplay but not this. it deserved more. pathetic always deserves more.
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      it's an alright piece but it seems like you really didn't have alot to say about anything in particular...it was pain and didn't drag you into the feel of things...
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      This really makes you think. Hmm, it seems that the person in this poem is trying to drown their emotions in alcohol. Anyway, it's a good peice, I'm gonna have to think on it.
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      This is cool, I love the second line about her throwing away the wine bottle. The last line is a little unclear...


    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      she does disapear . . . at least in my head. beautiful stuff.
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]


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