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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In another Timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Man in Black
    ASL Info:    34/male/Henderson, Ky
    Elite Ratio:    6.35 - 87/48/14
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 1266
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 983



    Description:
        Let me have it. Just felt like putting something down.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn another Timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She seemed to float across the room without a care in the world. Every stride carried her closer to me. Elegence and beauty she held in each hand. What was this?
    Our eyes met and she never looked away. Fixated on me. She was drawing me into her web. I tried to turn away but it was too late. I could not move. She had me and there was no escape. The sad thing is, I wanted to be under her spell.
    If only she weren't taken. If only this meeting had happened in another time. The love we shared would not have been so wrong. But who is to say what is right anymore?
    My mind is twisted now. I can't stop thinking about her. She controls my every thought. It hurts so good to want her this way. Remembering the time we shared together. The way our bodies seemed to almost be one.
    Sometimes I cry, wishing there was away to simply forget this memory I am doomed to relive the rest of my days.
    Yes, indeed, In another time....




    Submitted on 2006-05-03 05:43:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good expression of feelings here. I like the true sense of longing here. You really convey this feeling well with your words. I think we have all been in a situation somewhat similar to this at some point in our lives and it sucks to want what you cant have. I guess that is all a part of life though. But who knows, maybe in time, you can find each other again. One thing about life that always rings true...things change! Be patient. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that I have enjoyed reading this. Here is piece that is deep and emotional and very well written.

    "It hurts so good to want her this way."

    I like this, the intensity of the moment and how truly forbidden it is. I have encountered love like this before, and it does hurt so good. Is it worth it?

    Nice write.

    ~Cynthia
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]
      well... ummm...
    these last coupla days i have been thinking in song lyrics... its getting kinda annoying
    especially when i read this and my head was skipping from song to song faster than i could keep up lol
    a lot of your lines seem like half lines from songs in my head... i dunno how that works lol

    anyways... you start off with lady in red... you know... i never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight and when you turn your head and smile took my breath away etc... thats kinda cool

    but then theres the bombshell... the twist is revealed... shes with someone else
    and you are agonising over that (ok so even if this is not you im saying its you as in the narrative voice ok lol) that is really clear to me as the reader...
    trying to rationalise it somehow...
    trying to work out a way how you can be with her even though shes with him
    trying to bend the rules of right and wrong just a lil...
    then everything gets lost... all sense is lost... you just know you want her...

    the end... well... im glad no lines were crossed you know... i guess im glad you kept the lines straight and firmly drawn no matter how hard it was and i guess wishing you were in another time may make it all easier... that way one can fantasize about what could have been i guess...

    i dunno... this is kinda cool
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Farm boy,
    The emotions, longing and despair and regret and wondering, are conveyed so that the images are wonderfully clear. I picture a masquerade (too much Phantom of the Opera for me, yeah i know, but nevertheless...) and the subject of this piece is looking out from his mask, (something comical, lke a donkey or a jester) through the costumed crowd at this beautiful woman, dressed as a peacock. Forbidden, obsessive love, isn't that what stories are made of? It's the horrible "If Factor", "if" we could only be together, "if" she wasn't with someone else, if only, if only (the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the tree were as soft as the skies) (that's from "Holes" by the way). What would life be like without the If factor? Boring, that's what.
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by Syrinx | [ Reply to This ]


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