Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crumbleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Me
    Total Views: 1046
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1194



    Description:
       This poem is basically about me point blank. It states how other people say who I should be like the reference to Barbie and Stephen cause my dad always calls me white so in effort I would date none other then a white guy so hence, Stephen is the black doll...backwards. That's basically how my life is run, on half full and I never need to refuel because I'm always behind.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrumbleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I waited so long
    Unseeing and outspoken
    Words clogged my throat
    Like saliva eating away hope
    And I did not only cringe
    But...I supplied
    My testimony in lyrics
    Destined for ear
    To hear
    To compensate
    And listen to the verbs
    Words...jumbled inside of me
    Linking past to future
    And present with tomorrow
    My...true reality
    But all the while through this seething
    I'm denying so many...
    Prospects that my head hurts
    Spins and releases itself from my body
    Thrown half way round the world
    A frisbee in spinning contact
    And it's not a fact
    But a statement
    That black and white
    Are options...not races?
    And I've mixed
    Barbie and Stephen
    Like gumbo
    And I don't even know...
    Where to begin
    Because I never got a chance to end
    And I'e been turning
    In awkward circles
    Around an opaque world
    And this oblong life
    Is conflicting me
    Into ignorance
    And in the end...
    Hell
    I don't even know who I am




    Submitted on 2006-05-03 18:55:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i think a lot of us feel that way at times... i know i do. i've never known who i am... and i'm affraid....i never will. i really liked this piece... it really hit home with me... it says so many things that i've always wanted to say to everyone else... but either didnt know how......or i was just scared. very nice work.

    -Poetic
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by Poetic | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    101714

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Genesis written by saartha
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Stretto written by saartha
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry