[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Forest Kingdots

    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    68/M/Sooke/ B.C./Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 138/106/35
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 960
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 375

       Hopefully a poem in it's infancy, striving to become coherent.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Forest Kingdots

    The forest beckons me
    With it's intangible woody silence,
    To dark places I go
    Immersed in shadow
    and leafy fold
    Where sun trickles intermittently
    Through a canopy
    Bejeweled with morning dew,
    Dazzling arrays of dancing beams,
    Within secret halls
    I sit alone---regal
    A stump for a throne....

    Submitted on 2006-05-03 22:16:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As a child of the forest, I fell in love with this poem. It reminds me of all the days spent in quiet solitude, reading a book under the leaves. I sat and read, breathing the free air of the forest. Love this piece.
    | Posted on 2011-01-21 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is very coherent as it stands and it evokes the calm cathedral awe that such a special place inspires. In BC we are fortunate to have so many spots like you describe, so close at hand.
    My only wee suggestion is to editout some of the little superfluous filler words that aren't necessary--like "the, and , with--and most pronouns. In this poem, you might remove "it's " from L2, "the " in L3 ( or even replace the bland article with a descriptive such as "cool/fragrant/secret---"[anything that adds a touch more depth] Lines 6/7 could also drop the articles in favor of a descriptive, or another word--or even no word.

    I loved the ending too, probably because I relate so well to that "ahhhhhh, this is living feeling.

    I moved to the Cariboo last year, and now reside in a 150 year old log cabin on the Quesnel river. Though I spent the previous 10 years in the beautiful Kettle Valley, and the prevous 10 in the Slocan Valley, the call of the forest is always present, and each locale has its own inhabitants, flora and fauna. Here I saw daily the spawning salmon, and could count up to 20 eagles on the short walk to town. There are more moose here, and wild swans as well as the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen.

    Even when I grumble about shovelling snow again, or splitting wood when my shoulder doth protest,--I am thankful to be in the thickets rather than the thick it city life.

    Well Done
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I have always felt most at home in forests. I am originally from B.C., and I truly miss going for long walks through the forests and sitting on a thick carpet of needles to write a poem.
    I like the idea of a stump for a throne. You could build on this idea... for some reason I see a children's story of a young boy's imaginary world. Keep up the great work!
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved the imagery..Feels like its still got a continuation...Keep writing. Take care.^_^
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by raineces | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I think this is a very good peom; so vivid I could almost picture myself sitting in that forest. Good job!

    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]