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Fatal Confessions


Author: drk_angl_17
ASL Info:    23/f/TN
Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 659 /696 /84
Words: 185
Class/Type: Poetry /Broken
Total Views: 2049
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1322



Description:




Fatal Confessions



It happend tonight
shed had enough
the time was right
to do the deed.

She locked the door
grabbed the blade
fell to the floor
to make some art.

With crimson she painted
she spelled out her sins
her body growing tainted
with each confession drawn.

When she felt at ease
she dropped the blade
and got off her knees
she opened the door...

raced to the sink
watched the water
flow down as pink
then she sighed.

She faked a smile
and faced the crowd
and all the while
she hid her hands.

She was going away
she told her love
she couldnt stay
shed had enough.

She stroked his hair
as he screamed:
"this isnt fair"
she kissed his cheek.

A single drop fell
glistened in the light
she bid him well
and went through the door.

She dropped to her knees
with him at her side
asking "god please"
her breath growing rapid.

"I love you" she whispered
"dont leave me" he cried
and there in his arms
is where she died...




Submitted on 2006-05-04 13:00:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Isn't it crazy how things used to be? Where razorblades were the coolest things since ice cream? Man, it makes you think...how we have changed...how aspects have changed... how... we are someone completely different--so, who were we then?
| Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by alma-perdida | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow that was really intense, and It really flowed well. I really loved it when you said,

"raced to the sink
watched the water
flow down as pink
then she sighed."

It kind of amazes me how you can make it so exact while still making it rhyme and flow all at the same time. I really loved this. Favorites much?
| Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by DiamondTears | [ Reply to This ]
  It's so real and so depressing. It spring a whole array of emotions, Hate, Love, Pain, Relief, Lose, Freedom, Imprisonment.

IT"S GREAT....*cough* in a greiving sort of way.

~Katie
| Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Lyrikz | [ Reply to This ]
  since i read this last my viewpoint has changed...i love this...it makes me sad adn makes me think...this is getting personal but i dont give a flying [censored] really...everytime i start thinking like really deep on [censored], i get depressed and just get like a tingling sensation on my wrists and suddnely have the urge to cut my [censored] hands off and just die...i just want to die, then i just grab my wrists and i turn my head all fast like to get rid of the thought...this is the one for me...soemthing i think i would do someday but im gonna make myself not do it.

rha...
| Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked it a lot the whole thing of it being compared to art is creepy but awesome still...this is really forlorn-ish...i can picture a whole scene being played out in my mind as i read it...great to see another one from ya!!!!

rhaine
| Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved the emotion showe din this one. when you said in the last stanza ""I love you" she whispered
"dont leave me" he cried
and there in his arms
is where she died..."
i do have to say that was not orginal, everyone uses that and i believe that your emotion was not unique in that stanza. but other than that the words flowed gracefully and the theme was wonderful. keep up the good work.
take care
courtney
| Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by in_a_trap | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a pretty good write
I like the emotion you spoke of But I would definately say this write speaks more of obsession then love
I found this to be very sad that one can live there life for another
Good Job with this
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  make sure you have to apostrophe's where there needed, holy crap this is great, was lookin thru my faves list saw your name and thought i'd look, guess i know why i had added you before, your friggin awesome, i love this other than in like the first stanza where theres an apo... can't spell that missing its great, hell with that missing its great.
Good write
~Vynom
| Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh i forgot to say this though-

I also think that your poem in some way shows how the girl is finally separating herself from everyone else and kind of like discovering herself. (maybe separating herself from him???) Not sure but it kind of came to me in that way.

Unicorn Poet
| Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  Hello Dark, it's unicorn poet. I know i haven't been around lately. Sorry to have missed your recent happiness...

As always i love your work, you never fail to make it real in my mind. Very good. i have to agree with ron on how sad it is that one can live their life for another..... but we all go through some form of this very thing in our own lives.... trying to find our true identity, all the while having our very identity being wrapped up in someone else's lives. I look forward to taking the time to read all your newest works. I've sure missed a lot of great new stuff on elite.

Unicorn Poet
| Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  excellent work again ella i love reading your poetry everytime i do it inspires me to write a new one of my own so keep writing so i can too....
| Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by chaos_flame | [ Reply to This ]


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