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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Game overdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jslbabygirl101
    ASL Info:    18/f/ga
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 76/82/49
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1202



    Description:
       No really sure it has been a while since I wrote this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGame overdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When that feeling in your body ain't the same anymore;
    and the one you hate is the one you adore,
    well take them by the hand and tell them how you feel;
    look them in the eyes and tell them this is real.

    Don't let them slip away;
    grab them by the heart today,
    there may not be another chance;
    the one you let slip away may be your only romance.

    They say they don't want anymore;
    well tell them you can have some fun,
    don't let them take away your pride;
    and replace it with guilt.

    Shouldn't have went along with the ride;
    shouldn't have let them know how you felt,
    but now your chance is over;
    should've walked away,
    now the days are slower.

    Found them with someone new today;
    and when yuo deal with the same thing over and over,
    making the same wish on the same four-leaf clover,
    and nothing's changed and everythings the same.

    Find yourself playing the same old game;
    then it is time to tell yourself to move on,
    and tell yourself the past is gone.




    Submitted on 2006-05-04 19:59:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It almost seems like you're playing with the structure of the poem, starting with clear (almost too clear) long lines and then it falls apart as the message of the poem changes. The rhime is less important and the concepts are more vivid, less cliché, maybe more real. I'd like toe see this taken even further.
    | Posted on 2006-05-05 00:00:00 | by mumumeth | [ Reply to This ]
      making the same wish on the same four-leaf clover -- love that line
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by hoogs | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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