Sometimes I feel so alone,
like there's noone there to relate.
And I hide these feelings inside,
along with all the rage.
But one day I'm going to break free,
away from all the hate.
I only wish you could see,
that you control my fate.
again I find it easy to relate to your writing, almost as if you're sharing the thoughts I've had/am having. This was a pretty short write but you captured a lot of meaning and emotion behind a fairly small amount of words. I don't see anything I would change except possibly go into more detail but sometimes there's nothing else to say, the reader has to either understand it and take it for what it is (hehe starts singing *Take the red for what it's worth. ) or just not understand and give it a good try ya know? great write, ~jess
Ahh! Let no one else control your fate, or at least don't let them know it. In the seventh line you should change "with" to wish, other wise this is a well captured dream of escape, John.
Submission Name: Breaking Free
) or just not understand and give it a good try ya know?