[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Desert of Minddots

    Author: foxy lee
    ASL Info:    20 f/CT/SA
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 27/23/10
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 658
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 917

       Like i mentioned before im not a poet so forgive me!im not sure what this is about...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesert of Minddots

    Traipsing through the hot desert sand
    I seek to quench my thirst
    But no oasis can provide satisfaction
    And so I move on
    Casting my footprints in the coarse, golden sand

    My shadow walks beside me
    As I turn my gleaming face towards the sun
    Causing a glare as its stifling rays beat down on me

    I walk and walk and there is no map,
    No directions, no sense of knowing
    What is to come

    My insides burn with a heat that does not harm
    A fire that cannot be doused with water
    A feeling so powerful it has the ability to consume
    The only relief, the only answer
    Is to find a kindred soul...

    Still-traipsing through the hot desert sand
    Seeking to quench my thirst
    No oasis can provide satisfaction
    And so, I move on
    And hope
    And breathe
    And be

    Submitted on 2006-05-05 03:05:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Lee,

    I would interpret this one (my interpretation) as blindly moving on with life waiting (and needing) for something profound to happen in your life, but not being sure if it'll come at all.

    I enjoyed it, especially the emphasis on the last few lines: "And so, I move on
    and hope
    and breathe
    and be"

    It does not flow as well as it could, but the idea and description is fantastic!


    | Posted on 2006-05-05 00:00:00 | by Leila | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]