Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desert of Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: foxy lee
    ASL Info:    20 f/CT/SA
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 27/23/10
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 917



    Description:
       Like i mentioned before im not a poet so forgive me!im not sure what this is about...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesert of Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Traipsing through the hot desert sand
    I seek to quench my thirst
    But no oasis can provide satisfaction
    And so I move on
    Casting my footprints in the coarse, golden sand

    My shadow walks beside me
    As I turn my gleaming face towards the sun
    Causing a glare as its stifling rays beat down on me

    I walk and walk and there is no map,
    No directions, no sense of knowing
    What is to come

    My insides burn with a heat that does not harm
    A fire that cannot be doused with water
    A feeling so powerful it has the ability to consume
    The only relief, the only answer
    Is to find a kindred soul...

    Still-traipsing through the hot desert sand
    Seeking to quench my thirst
    No oasis can provide satisfaction
    And so, I move on
    And hope
    And breathe
    And be




    Submitted on 2006-05-05 03:05:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Lee,

    I would interpret this one (my interpretation) as blindly moving on with life waiting (and needing) for something profound to happen in your life, but not being sure if it'll come at all.

    I enjoyed it, especially the emphasis on the last few lines: "And so, I move on
    and hope
    and breathe
    and be"

    It does not flow as well as it could, but the idea and description is fantastic!

    Luvies,
    Leila.

    | Posted on 2006-05-05 00:00:00 | by Leila | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    101913

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry