Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the soldierdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: liedivine
    ASL Info:    21/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    5.35 - 6/6/4
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 616
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 932



    Description:
       I wrote this with a theme in mind, one which has been floating around in all my writings--infidelity.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe soldierdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Soldier

    Wish I knew what
    what warm hip-flasked whiskey feels
    white cold as it infiltrates ready
    mouth tightens, paths narrow
    through first tension, eases, whispers
    heat ears, neck, toe-ball-toe of feet.

    Quiet. It must quiet, to prevent
    uneasy mumbles—thought’s messy
    messy action falls nearby blame,
    less, blushing missed falsehoods,
    lies unearthed leaching perfect laughs into
    basin of synapses.

    Is incentive in fear;
    is reaction in dread, looking through
    clouded, teary glass; is incentive, is reaction
    in marbled replies and interruptions,
    cupped in moist palms that sway
    most priests to offer dry escape,
    a lax prayer and taxed conscience—

    someone, dearest, lies in false hope, certain un-
    lying in hedgerows, already seen, waits.




    Submitted on 2006-05-07 03:06:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    102133

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry