[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: No explanationdots

    Author: TremendoCulo16
    ASL Info:    19/f/NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 20/27/22
    Words: 226
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1252


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo explanationdots

    This taste of beer is what i fear most
    It has no sugar so it is not sweet

    Its an icebreaker and after a few
    I feel like someone that isnt me someone new

    This beer ive grown to love
    Everyone screaming at me Chug! Chug! Chug!

    I hate this beer it goes down so badly
    I can feel it in my throat

    Why do i do this to myself
    I hear the sound of my own voice

    This taste will never grow on me
    But i see the disappointment on their faces

    I drink, you drink
    I go down, you go down with me

    I only drink more and soon my inhabitions are out the window
    I slowly forget my purpose in this world

    The beer runs through me faster than my decision to throw my morals away
    I go to pee and as i look in the bathroom mirror i cant recognize myself

    Whats become of me?
    Was i always like this

    I do this every week and its always the same thing
    Love can take over your life, but a lack of it can drive you mad

    I can barely walk
    I can hardly stand

    Stand to look at this face
    The one ive known for 19 years

    Submitted on 2006-05-07 23:53:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You got the point across, but the whole thing was mixed and hard to read. Some lines rhyme, some are long enough to be two different sentences. On the whole, it was great, just needs a tad of work I think.
    | Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]