That is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I agree with everything Samm (LoveToHateMe) said, but I'm not going to copy and paste her whole comment because that would be weird.
I just can't believe I haven't commented on this already. I know I've read it. Oh well... I've always been a bit of a flake.
If I wasn't so tired, it would have made me cry. Emotion drips from every word. It all goes together and rhymes perfectly without seeming forced at all... which is awesome.
The line that says, "You know I'll always love you" was the most sad to me. It's simple, yet managed to rip my heart out and shove it down my throat (metaphorically, of course).
My favorite part was, "But who would touch a sinner?" I love that question. It's a good one. Everyone should... because whether they admit it or not, they all sin. It's impossibe not to these days. In fact, I'm probably sinning right now even though I'm not doing anything. Apparently there are a thousand ways to break commandments (or so I've learned from twelve horrible years of catholic school).
Also, I really like the way you used "dusty." Gives the impression that you've been on that shelf for quite a while.
Annnnyway, my point is... I love everything about this, and once again, I can only give you compliments.
The flow was interrupted in a few patches, but not really enough to matter. I found this poem a little unusual especially in the last stanza! [You can't help me and I cannot help myself]
-This bit made a lot of sense to me because the doctrine image of an angel helps others, but I havenít really heard many state that an angel needs help.
[So I'll remain a dusty angel On a high and dusty shelf
The dust only marred by my tears.]
After I read this I saw an image of a porcelain angel crying real tears in an attic, and all I could think of was the owner thinking, "It's ruined now". An evoking piece dark-red-pain, I look forward to reading more.
...Wow! That's is all I have to really say. I really loved the imagery you use, and the wording is close to perfect. It's amazing the way you write your poetry. I've tried poetry myself, but found out that I am a better story writer than a poet. Keep it up!
ya i like this title better than "fallen angel" and dont noe if its used ova and ova again i just like this one better! this was a great write!! ya the way u set it up was good! i again dont see anything wrong with this! good joB! ~akaila~
Okay, first off, I'm so glad that you didn't use the title "Fallen angel". That title is so over-used that it makes me sick, so the title was so very much unique and I think that displaysthat you're a very unique person....just like everybody else, lol. This was a nice write. I liked how you went into stanzas and then just one-lined it, it added drama to it.
The imagery and color is really distinct in this. The flow seemed a little clogged in one or two areas but it's still very nice. The style you wrote this in seems like she's talking to someone else about her problems, or something on those lines.
what I mean is:
"Cobwebs and dust surround my heart A place not hard to get to <----- Story Yet avoided with consistency You know I'll always love you"
"And my heart belongs to you!" <------ Reasoning(talking)
if that makes any sense. Anyway, very nice write Laura. Love it! Hope you come back soon.