[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: gone for a long timedots

    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1159
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1422

       the rhyming in this one is kinda weird

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgone for a long timedots

    Been gone for a long time
    Back with a few rhymes
    Dough stacks with a few dimes
    Sell crack, this is true crime
    Sit back sipping moonshine
    Think hard and youíll soon find
    All the answers to problems
    Or issues, whatever you see fit to call em
    Predestined to end up deceased
    Regressing through backward beliefs
    Tsunamis lead to disaster reliefs
    This world has no lack of deceit
    Losing battles result in faster retreats
    Trying to master defeat
    Because loss is its own price
    Canít pay the cost to own rice
    No food, so thereís no need of flavor or spice
    In a world with no seasoning
    At a loss of logic with no reasoning
    Believing in Christ with no dreams of Him
    Hoping that all your schemes will end
    High voltage sending fatal shocks through your system
    Random thoughts, and I try not to list em
    His undying wisdom
    Is in a sense a glimpse at our own ignorance
    Belligerent, why do we smoke cigarettes?
    Diamonds last forever like Jigga said
    But they cause death so consider it
    Think about the future of children
    Use your compassion to fill them
    Erase their mental scars and just heal them
    Leave em with the keys to our future
    Do a double take cuz the movie of life is nothing more than a blooper

    Submitted on 2006-05-08 16:05:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hey troy!! how is troy!!!!???? grrr im so mad!! ok but anyway!! the rhymin thing was a lil off but its really no big deal!! wat waz up w/ u and AIM yesturday!! ur weird im tryin out for guard!! i will noe wednesday if i made it!! ok anyway uve done better!but its still good!! iight peace!
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, i did like this but i agree with mags i have seen you do better, it dad make me wanna read more, ur writes are always interesting and cover many topics and you put ur own mark on then, by the way ma mate shae is realy impressed with what she is reading coming from u, sin, and oman,

    keep em cummin

    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, the rhyme scheme was off a bit. The flow was good though. I liked it, but again, it seem a bit devoid of emotion or feeling. Like you wrote this but was not into it. Not bad, but I have seen you do much better then this.

    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hows things i hope all is going well for you
    been along time since i've seen a post of yors pop up i liked this one as usual and yor right
    the movei of life has many bloopers its just to bad we dont have a rewind or pause button

    take care
    | Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]