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Author: mrmundane
ASL Info:    20/m/vancouver bc
Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 47 /96 /78
Words: 265
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 817
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1750



the mural's face shines
when you stare at it in your daisy gaze
listen to the words it forms as your eyelids drag you deeper
and you wake in a dead sweat with your skin a full bore heater
a sip of flat ginger ale when nothing else is better
and right out splat into the bucket first thing,
first thing after
wish there was someone else there
there, but the timing is perfect for them to be out of town
in a time astranged from your own
where our day is their night
and yesterday wasn't entirely great either
when you called...
a wet cold facecloth hairline to hairline gives a sense of dulling thereafter...
a jackhammer outside
pulses shockwaves and shockwaves to agitate your skull
and the sting of a wasp noise clashing against your dual pane
shatters thoughts
which become focused on agony
the world gyroscopically twisting
it twists...
it twists...
and when the screeching sound of the telephone bleeds into the air
you answer
answer you must
just to stop the havoc wreaked on your mind
it's as if your hand is someone elses
it moves before your eyes with terrible tracking
hello hello
it's someone you know
your hope is raised
to ask them to show
but all the strength escapes you
and woosied over a bucket
everything you say comes out in jaw daggers
and the feeling of dripping fluid
and glass sharpening itself on the skin of your throat
the only sound which utters out
is nothing...
but somehow a faint murmur...
is all that comes out

Submitted on 2006-05-09 01:33:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i see a painter, drunk...sitting before the canvas and upset with himself and the world and at a point of desperation. The world outside only makes it worse, the jackhammer hurts his already throbbing head...the room that he is in is dark and unfriendly...I really like this piece. It was vivid. There were emotions in this flying around and references to art and it made the entire piece work well. It was all rather lovely to read. Terribly wondeful.

The line everything you say comes out silent, it reminds me again of a painter...and the painter wished to communicate through his art...but everything he is trying to express isn't working and he feels like he is getting no where. I really like this. I think I will add it as a fav.

Have a lovely day

| Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this poem alot. I loved the line "everything you say comes out silent" very vived. Ive had a few days like this myself. IT reminds me of cleaning up.
| Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]

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