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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mother's Day Lostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sageeriol
    ASL Info:    21/male/GA.
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 266/306/98
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 241
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1257



    Description:
       Um. Hmmm. Just putting the dread in the open.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMother's Day Lostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He was lost.
    He was a monster.
    All he knows is the broken past.
    All he had was the hate, the pain.
    Noone loved him.
    Noone cared.
    He cried.
    He fell.
    He died inside.
    Now she must bring him out.
    She must pull him to the surface.
    She knocks down wall after wall.
    She does not understand, cannot see
    What he did to deserve this misery.
    She cries with him as she helps him forget.
    She holds him as the past flows away.
    She is going to have to hold him again this Mother's Day.
    The past comes to life.
    He cannot sleep because the dreams come,
    So he lies restless and watches her slumber.
    He cannot understand.
    He cannot let it go.
    The tears fall.
    He wishes she saw it.
    He hopes she will understand.
    He lost something precious.
    He live in fear of this day everytime it comes.
    Every year.
    He has lost himself again.
    They see him drift away.
    They see him cry silently, but don't know what to do.
    Every year he falls as the day comes near.
    He sees it coming just like her birthday.
    He dreads waking every Mother's Day.




    Submitted on 2006-05-09 13:53:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, in all honesty I don't think your wording was as powerful as this one as it could have been- and I know you're capable of more. The story behind it however was excellent, and inspiring for me. I loved the overall meaning, but you're a great writer - and that isn't displayed so much in this one as it is in some others. However, feel free to ignore my criticism, because these are only opinions... And if you're the writer I think you are, you write for yourself and to give yourself strengths. So don't change it if this shows you or holds a piece of you... Keep up the good work, and I'll keep comin' by :)
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, truely sad and powerful. It's amazing how you can pull through such a tragic thing. I have no idea what I would do if I lost my mother.

    You are a truley a strong person to be able to make it through this every day of your life. My thoughts go out to you, and I wish you the best. Just remember poetry and writing is part of your very soul and will help you make it through the hardest of time. Hopefully you have close peopel to be able to help you. Take care.
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]



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