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Questioned Love


Author: Love_s Enmity
ASL Info:    21/F/NY
Elite Ratio:    8 - 10 /7 /5
Words: 220
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1008
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1209



Description:


This one was written a long time ago. I wasn't quite sure about posting this, but figured I'll give it a chance.

If you hate it, tell me. :)


Questioned Love



If I could give you the world on a silver platter,
Do you think that my dreams would shatter?

If I were to kiss away your tears and then cry,
Would you return the favor or just pass me by?

If I told you a million times that I love you,
Could you wrap me in your arms and say it too?

If I tried to apologize for everything I have done,
Should you forgive me, or cast me for no one.

If I held fast to my dreams, never let them slip away,
Would you give me a chance, even hold me today?

If you could give me the world on a silver platter,
I would never let your dreams be shattered.

If you were to kiss away my tears and then cry,
I would return the favor and never pass you by.

If you told me a million times that you love me,
I would wrap you in my arms and say it truthfully.

If you tried to apologize for everything you have done,
I should forgive thee, rather than toss you to no one.

If you held fast to your dreams, never let them slip away,
I would give you my heart; I would hold you today.




Submitted on 2006-05-09 15:04:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I love this poem, it writes out so clearly everything I feel in my heart and have been unable to write out... I ask myself those qustions everyday and never even think that they could be written out in such a compleat way. you left no stone unturned in this peice this is soo going in my favorets for sure... thank you for your write it is a truly wonderful write...
Love and Light
Archer
| Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Archer | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow this is a really good peice, its good that you posted it truely. You start out well with questions, not to mention they are questions that most girls wonder but never get the courage to acctually ask. And you can tell that there are deep feelings because all the things you long for in return you willingly give. Good job keep it up
Thirst_4_serenity
| Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Thirst4Serenity | [ Reply to This ]
  
Hey there, I just want to give you my suggestion first, Okay, I think that it might work to the advantage of your stategy to lay it out differently...

I'll just show you, need to see what it looks like anyhow;


If I could give you the world on a silver platter,
Do you think that my dreams would shatter?
If I were to kiss away your tears and then cry,
Would you return the favor or just pass me by?
If I told you a million times that I love you,
Could you wrap me in your arms and say it too?
If I tried to apologize for everything I have done,
Should you forgive me, or cast me for no one.
If I held fast to my dreams, never let them slip away,
Would you give me a chance, even hold me today?

If you could give me the world on a silver platter,
I would never let your dreams be shattered.
If you were to kiss away my tears and then cry,
I would return the favor and never pass you by.
If you told me a million times that you love me,
I would wrap you in my arms and say it truthfully.
If you tried to apologize for everything you have done,
I should forgive thee, rather than toss you to no one.

If you held fast to your dreams, never let them slip away,
I would give you my heart; I would hold you today.


I don't know, I mean what you have here is a lot of healthy little bites but I think it sorta starts mooshing together and it's not so bold that you switched everything around. Well, Now, I would like to say that this poem is just heartbreaking *my heart breaks* the irony... I also noticed that you have a bit of a Shakespearian accent, lol. And 'tis lovely.

~eL

| Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by Pink:.DragonFly | [ Reply to This ]


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