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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Giftsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: redthewitch
    ASL Info:    36/f/tiny rural village
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 267/175/26
    Words: 29
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1441
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 192



    Description:
       Just a little something, not complete yet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGiftsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What would I give you
    if I could?
    The stars, the moon?
    Too insignificant.
    I'd rather give you laughter
    A smile on your face
    The love in my heart.




    Submitted on 2004-05-10 12:00:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a nice little write. The stars and the moon are not going to be around forever. Laughter and smiles will be around along as you are. And Love, well, that's just the best thing that you can give someone cuz it can't be bought or stolen. Whoever you wrote this for must be one lucky person
    ~Aaron
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is quite good as it sits. A touching, loving complete thought, minimally presented with conviction and an ingenuous sincerity. Your gifts--more significant thatn the moon and stars--that's a very poignant image--and powerful. I would be interested to see how you revise this, Silver
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it is wonderful as a begining, I would love to see where it goes...
    Plus the pic is so cute!
    1
    ORA
    | Posted on 2004-05-10 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wiyh oracle, this can become a very lovely write when completed...you must be one hell of a woman for the stars and the moon to be insignificant...hehe
    | Posted on 2004-05-10 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      It's perfaect the way it is!! Don't change it! :P
    Just so brittle and perfect, like a bauble :)
    | Posted on 2004-05-10 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      I was gifted once with a star 'named' after me...a poor substitute to being gifted with his presence, but heart-felt...one makes do with one has...*s*
    | Posted on 2004-05-14 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      with WHAT one has...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    | Posted on 2004-05-14 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]


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