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    dots Submission Name: Passiondots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 276
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1667


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    What is sweet surrender
    when Itís purely lust within your eyes?
    How can you tantalize me thus
    then stay me with a sigh?

    If it did not feel so good
    when you flick your tongue right there.
    I would show you what it means to tease a man.
    But I do, forbear punishing you as I might.

    I much prefer your humming purr,
    as I dally to suckle dew from quivering petal lips.
    Oh but you deny me even this!
    How short my bliss.
    Mayhap youíve gone to far and think I am conquered.

    I have stayed my thrust in vain hope of mercy,
    but I see only deviltry about your form.
    I believe a taste of steel
    will bring wantonness to heel.

    But I shall not quickly drive my rapier home.
    Oh no you shall suffer first
    before I grant you release.
    Just as I did suffer beneath your stiletto tongue.

    First I must admire this prize
    with a little glissade,
    before I sink my blade into your heat.
    But know This, there shall be no quarter.

    Pleas of anguish gasped will be ignored.
    No you shall be quite firmly gored
    to thrash upon the hilt, you thought to devour.
    I will see your trembling flower pulse before you wilt,

    from draining torment,
    into mindless stupefaction.
    And my satisfaction will be complete,
    when you whisper nothings in my ear

    dreamily drifting into exulted sleep of wonder,
    still clutching..
    The weapon of your downfall

    Submitted on 2006-05-10 03:52:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Okay from brigand to rapier or would that be brigand with a rapier..., sharp tongued brigand with a claymore? he he..., yes I'm playing and teasing. Eh hum, clear throat and be the serious reviewer. Now this is the writer I know, who utterly commands the page with the thrust and parry of his pen..., oh know I'm getting off track again! Eh hum, clear throat. The imagery is flawlessly executed with vivid pictures that sizzle the screen with raw sexuality. No one but DaleP possesses a hard driving rhythm with a red hot counterpoint of slow senuous bass notes, that usually has the same effect everytime this poet writes of passion..., he leaves the women swooning in the aisles. Me..., I swoon not! Wait, just wait a minute while I gather ......my..... thou--gh---t--t-s---blink... fade to black.......................P
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by ladyauthor1 | [ Reply to This ]

    This poem is so well written... It has a great flow to the read... Perfect pauses, perfect speed ups... I don't think I could offer any help to improve this at all. The lay out of the lines are very well done, the words are very well chosen, and the over all sound has a clear a Shakespearian feel to it-- pretty brilliant!~~ My description of your more stronger writes would be: "your dark horror yet still intriguingly beautiful poems", and then the poems like this one... ummm... "vulnerably romantic yet strongly in-control poetry, a subtle weakness draped in non yeilding stregnth". Both styles have this intriguing ironic effect, taking the reader by surprise.
    These more romantic ones in particular have a hypnotic power with ability to entrance most female readers. Who knows, with this super power you might even take over the world one day!

    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Just Kel | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, it seems like a poem about a woman who was only teasing a man, and the man wanted more, so he raped her. Am I right? This is what I got from this poem, and to tell you the honest truth, I'm a bit wide-eyed. Anyhow, It was a great poem.
    Peace and love,
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]

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