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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sunsets Are For Loversdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lmz
    ASL Info:    40/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 3433/1529/84
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 2295
    Average Vote:    4.3333
    Bytes: 389



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSunsets Are For Loversdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sunsets are for lovers.
    Lusting colors blend,
    melting into one another
    like hot sweaty sex.

    The sun descends, slowly
    kissing every inch of horizon,
    soft yet passionate,
    sheer pleasure in the sky.

    Penetrating deeper,
    losing itself in a warm ocean.
    A gentle hiss expressed
    as pure ecstacy is found.




    Submitted on 2006-05-10 07:57:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      well i can tell you that i wont be looking at a sunset the same again! this was really good, and i sometimes find it difficult to read work like this but for once i actually thought it wasnt gross but it actually made alot of sense. good write
    | Posted on 2010-12-17 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      Very very significant poem. It made me horny just reading it. Love the comparison between physical sex and the sunset; almost personifies the ocean and the sun.

    This was a very thoughtful piece by you to strike this similiarity between the sunset and sex. From reading your other poems, I can see you have an affinity with the natural beasuty of the world which is a brilliant quality as most people take for granted exactly what you have just described so perfectly.
    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by Nick_23 | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful photography, and a lovely wonderful poem. Good work!
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love this one you did an awesome job as always I totally enjoy reading your work and I will be returning to read more and alway look forward to reading yours .

    Wilma
    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I'm not a scholar like the ones above this comment or below, so big words I will not add, except I love this one, being single sux on sunsets lately, but I still enjoy them when I get to see them working nights does this to you. Very well combined between the two meanings, sex and sunsets, I too feel the same, and used to have alot of pictures of sunsets, NO just sunsets, not the other..lol
    | Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by man_in_PA | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry about that last comment there. anyway! I totallly loved this poem! just everything about it, the cool way it delivers its lines, the nice allegory< i think thats the right word usage, the creative paralells between sunsets and sex, and the way it was written. Im sorry I don t have more to say, but there is nothing about this poem i would change, its very very well written!
    | Posted on 2006-05-27 00:00:00 | by Metal Heart74 | [ Reply to This ]
      Is it only for lovers, or could it also be for dreamers, believers, bystanders and more.
    The title was rather capturing. Great momentum in the way you write and enrapture my thoughts upon the sunset as somehting so sexual. Of all the comparisons and allusions I've read and heard of the sun, this by far is the most descriptive and profound. I wish I knew what else to say to show my likeliness for this poem, but the truth is that I don't know how too. I couldn't say, yes I agree with you, becasue for sure I've no idea upon that part how it feels to relate to such an idea for being too young-- but I'm not sad about that.

    So I guess I could leave you with "Great Job" on such a beautifully written piece, both naturalistically and literally.
    -stacey M.-
    | Posted on 2006-05-27 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      Myyyyy goodness, it took me forever to get down here!

    Well, I can say for sure that I'll never look at a sunset the same way again. This is what I love about reading other's poetry, you always find a new way to look at something you've taken for granted in the past. Someone mentioned before that this was a combination of a sex poem and a love poem, and it is, but it blends the two so perfectly that it doesn't come off as trashy and overly explicit. You did a great job with this. (I wish I could say more but the 20+ people that came before me stole everything I had to say!) ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      There is so much Beauty to be found in the sun setting
    I have watched many a suns set and have often wondered if the sun is aware it is the instrument of time
    The sun truly holds all life together
    It brings life to all living beings
    Withiut it we would surely perish
    I loved the feeling you created with this one Lorna and how this one definately made me think
    God Bless
    Your Friend Always
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the sensation this work brings.
    the only part, I wasn't overly keen on was the line "like hot sweaty sex"
    obviousley the word sex. while in my opinion ruined the flow of the piece, was to insert a lustful essence to the scene. but the word "like" seemed so out of place amongst such beautiful imagery
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna, this is close to the perfect metaphor. Steamy sex portrayed in such a lovely poetic way is a hard trick, and you conjured up both: a lovely description of sunset, and an undertone of boom crash opera.

    Excellent stuff.

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem. Have a nice day. Stacie
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by beachgurl05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well you sure have a lot of comments. lol I just had to scroll down for like 5 minutes.
    But I see why. This is far beyond beautiful.
    Wonderful wording and use of nature.
    Your talent always fascinates me.
    I dont really know what I can say that hasn't already been said. I just read this and thought you should know how much I love it.

    As always,
    Very nicely done

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Living close to the beach myself, I agree with this writing. The usage and flow of this work is excellent and the illustrations using the elements is quite tasteful...living upon the beach here I find myself drawn to each sunset I watch, you have captured the passion and romance of lovemaking within this work...my perception of this.
    ~Alan
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good job, Lorna. I really liked the way you described and compared love and nature and pointed out their close link.
    An outstanding and original poem with a creative title.

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my Lorna,

    This is so nice, and the picture is perfect.

    A gentle hiss as the sun touches the warm water, that is beautiful. But the words 'Hot sweaty sex' didn't seem to go with the rest of the beautiful passionate poetic words.

    Donn
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      SEXY! Sunsets are definitely for lovers. I especially like the last stanza. This is a very suggestive write, leaving the reader to use a bit of imagination and fill in the blanks, which I like. Nice pic too. I love watching the sun set...awe.... This is the first one of your writings I've ever come upon with a sensual tone. Sounds like maybe you've had some positive inspiration in that department. LOL
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]
      I never knew a sunset to be so hot. A masterful treatment of the ordinary, changing it to a deliciously sexy poem. Mr. Sun never had it so good. I've lived by the ocean most of my life, but have only seen the sunrise over it. This makes me want to move to the west coast. My only suggestion would be to change "sheer" to "arousing". I think your line, "kissing every inch of horizon" sets the pace in this one. Perhaps the last two lines could be a bit louder, it seemed a slightly repressed climax. Maybe avoid the verbal altogether, and express the cool-down, or the last burst of color, or the heat of the sun being consumed by the warmed ocean.

    This is one hot poetic sunset. I think you kept the length just right. I loved the wordplay. Arriving at what is referred to, often, as the sunset of life, I thank you for this inspiration.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Foxy Lady - yet another steamy little number from out of your locker - wah hooooo !

    The way you described and expressed this was very effective and was very sexual and sensual.

    Now I know why you live by the ocean and you like the beach so much !!!

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      A classy, but sinful expression of sunset. Very creative and well written. I can say from viewing many sunsets, that I'll never look at one the same way, there will always be a hint of sensual awe now. Just another way to heighten a mood. Thank you for the well written write.

    Praying for a smile,

    Amy
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by 2ndChance | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!!
    This is beautiful! Also very creative in setting such a romantic, sensual (Oh! did I mention sexy) scene and mood.

    some of my favorite phrases;
    "Lusting colors blend"
    "kissing every inch of horizon"
    and of course my all time favorite;
    "Penetrating deeper"

    My take was; the masculine Sun kissing every inch of the Oceans body before sinking into her. That's the
    "Penetrating deeper" thing.

    Lovely write and the picture is beautiful and adds to the mood.

    L
    Steve




    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this... it's so sensual. It's not your typical love or sex poem... it's a unique combination of two. I like the comparison of love and sex to a sunset... it gives beautiful imagery.
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      Here. I think that I will give you a REALLY long comment, just because no one else has! lol. Anyway, I liked this for the most part. There is that first stanza, where you just jerk me out of the revery of a beautiful...aahhhh...sunset...by mentioning "hot sweaty sex" oh goodness, I wasn't expecting such a jerk back into the human world! I was waiting for the full on metaphor that you did indeed produce--the affair of the sun and earth--but geeze, did it have to be so graphic so soon?? Here, I think you will understand what I mean if I put it down in your own poem:

    Sunsets are for lovers.
    Lusting colors blend,
    melting into one another...
    [like (passionate) sex.]

    The sun descends, slowly
    kissing every inch of horizon,
    soft yet passionate,
    sheer pleasure in the sky.
    I love this stanza, because it transitions so well, using the sun and earth as entities engaged in...sweaty sex =]

    Penetrating deeper,
    losing itself in a warm ocean.
    A gentle hiss expressed
    as pure ecstacy is found.

    See, the only part I would want to change, or make less awkward for a reader like me, would be that first part. Soften the word sex with the word passion, then you have set up the poem for the metaphor that makes it beautiful. Wow, I hope that review covered it! Onward!

    Blessed be,

    ~Maeve (lol)
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Maevity | [ Reply to This ]
      Whew Lorna!!!!!

    A few of your poems have created cause for fanning myself and taking a cold shower, this is no exception! I absolutely loved how you used the idea of a sunset being so sensual. They are incredible and often lead to these kinds of moments. Wonderful use of imagery as always. Thanks for sharing this beauty!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      my my that is quite sensual... comparing the sunset to making love works so very well, and you've done a superb job in such a short write. my favorite kind!
    i wouldn't change a thing here. it is passionate yet soft and tender.. wonderful combination Lorna!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      So the only problem with this piece is that it's too da.mn short!!

    I love the way you have painted the sunset. (I was actually distracted by the picture- it didn't look like the sunsets I watch at the coast. The waves are too big...)

    I had a tough time with the second stanza. I think it might help to add a comma afer "soft yet passionate" but it's just a thought.

    Thanks for sharing, it's always nice to get to read your work.

    Take Care!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very good work. I like the way the sunset flows into the sexual theme and you do a very good job with the images here. Nothing I would change.

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Way to go Lorna! This was very erotic and sexy. I liked the way you describe the blending of night and day. I loved the imagery and the wording. The flow was near flawless. This was very good. So...what prompted this poem? lol.

    Trina
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Never thought of a sunset effecting someone in that way. Looks like I will have to spend some time watching setsets with the wife.
    I have watched many sunsets in my life vut I think shall never be the same now LOL

    Who needs Viagra when you now have the sunset. HEE HEE HEE

    Just messing with you Lorna.

    I say this is awesomw.

    Nicely done

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Just the thought of hot sweaty sex made me shiver and get all tingly, not to mention several other bodily function changes!
    WHEW! its hot in here, I'll open a window and hit the Air-conditioner.
    Must one lay down to feel such enuberation?
    Would several belts from some burbon ease the stress of it oncoming vibration?
    I'll check one out-- maybe tonight,
    The last time I tried that on the beach the sand got in places niether one of us really agreed with, little 'Freddie' got all chaffed and my jewely bag itched the rest of the night. Cinderella's slipper was like sandpaper!
    I assume your little moment of exstacy was more relaxing. Hmmmmm!
    Later, maybe at sunset!!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      wow lorna, I must say I'm really really impressed, you blend passion and beauty into each other so perfectly that it's almost as if the reader can choose either one they like and still get the full impact of the write, this was a really good write, I wouldn't change a thing ^__^ thanks for sharing this and I can't wait to read some more of your writes.
    luv ya,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Lorna,

    I heard you were pretty good at writing so i thought i should check your work out and i just really liked this piece that i had to comment despite of the large amount of comments you have already received....

    I enjoyed the fact that you could take a simple title as that and turn one thing into another thing...Comparison is a great tool and you have done remarkably well here....

    Anyhow, don't really want to take too much of your time....I just thought i had to comment to tell you what a great piece this really is....The comparison of nature with the exotic desire of individuals is well pictured here...

    Anyhow, do take care....
    Irina
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      love penatrates
    deep into the souls
    of trusting mates
    it immertates lust
    it immertates trust
    then it can hurt
    and truly make a crush
    broken heart
    and then fall apart


    this is a favorite of minds
    also thanks for reading my poem
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by thelastone | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautifully written piece and I enjoyed reading it very much, You have a way of putting your words so that the passion comes through them. I will be reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat-o! That was a really interesting piece. A Freudian perception, I'd say. :) I'm really at a loss for something interesting to say as a comment on your poem. It was a good, non-linear, and all around well-written bit.

    Thanks for commenting on my poem-esque thing. The love I was describing wasn't the normal boy-girl thing. It's my best friend.

    Anyhoo...Write on!

    Cheers.
    ~Orin
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      You are great at finding passion in nature... things that sometimes I tend to forget when the pressures from the world mount on me... it is real nice and I totally digged the whole thing flawless... Love your style... indeed sunsets are for lovers... You are great

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very passionate in description and imagery. I love how you used the sunset, the colors, and the whole happening of the sun setting over the ocean to describe erotic pleasures. I like the concept of the hot sex implied throughout this delicious poem.

    The sun descending, kissing every inch of the horizon as it penetrates deeper, losing itself n the warmth of the ocean. Yep, I can most definitely get the "erotic feel" of this write.

    Nice!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      that is hot girl...
    "melting into one another
    like hot sweaty sex."

    Sunsets will never be the same for me again.
    Now they will mean so much more.
    This was beautifully written like most of you work.
    Love the pic to go with it, I can just picture a couple smooching underneath it. ( I think you first stanza made me think that, lol)

    Have a great day.
    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work, Expressions of lustfull passion while the colors intertwin within and amongst each other. Once again few words spoken and much said. You have a good style of writting. I am now looking foward to reading more of your work
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmmm...short, sensuous, and somehow(through the magic of metaphor)...tying the art of love-making into the beauty and splendour of the natural world.

    You've chosen a wonderful picture to accompany this lovely poem.

    later,
    kc
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this was really cute and I can't think of a better time for hav'n hot sweaty sex than at sunset...or sunrise.. or in between sunset and sunrise! Actually I vote for all those times above!

    Penetrating deeper,
    losing itself in a warm ocean.
    A gentle hiss expressed
    as pure ecstacy is found.

    Now this is a perfect ending and it is also my favorite part of the poem. Very well done Lorna and I think I'll put it over here on my Favs List so I can have quick reference to it min the future.
    I fell the only thing missing in this is the candlelite dinner and a cold bottle of wine!



    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna this was very nice. I took a particular liking to the last two stanzas, those were very nice. I don't have an suggestions for this. For as it stands its near prefect. The only thing I would say about this, is to add a picture about a sunset or something like that.

    Keep up the good work Lorna and have a blessed and most wonderful day and God bless. Thanks so much for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]


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