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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Taken awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: totojane03
    ASL Info:    25- colorado springs
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 151/77/35
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 955



    Description:
       My daughter was taken from me 4 days after she was born.It was set up, by my ex-husbeand and his parents.
    I miss her alot,and wish It would'nt have ever happened.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTaken awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have a feeling that is so deep,
    And it is with me in my dreams,
    No one can take it from me
    when I am asleep,
    So many memories are stored preously,

    In my arms I may never hold you again,
    But you are my daughter,
    My hopes are going to be high,
    Even if I die trying and trying again,

    You are a gift from God,
    Under his shelter and wings,
    But my heart is crying child of mine,
    As it sings,

    Wishing all that had happened was,
    Just another bad dream,
    That I had known you more the four days,
    and that I knew your father was going
    to set me up and get you taken from me,

    My daughter, my baby,
    You'll always be with me in my dream of
    dreams,
    I will pray one day,
    You will know the truth,
    And belive my words when I
    say"I have always loved you".




    Submitted on 2006-05-10 15:18:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this is like my poem "Letter from Dad"..I just wanted to channel my feelings on paper regarding my dad having alzheimers. This was a heartfelt expression of love. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2009-09-10 00:00:00 | by Cayman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sooo sad. I think that if a mother feels this way about a child being taken from her then she shouldnt of been taken from her at all. I am so sorry for this. This hits my heart hard. Not that Ive ever had a child taken from me but if I had I dont think I would know what to do.

    The poem itself: The structure was a bit off and rhyming was all over the place but that doesnt really matter.

    Good Job. I loved it!

    <3 Adalae
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by lifeNsoul1224 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ugh, that's horrible. I'm sorry that something so horrible happened to you, and I hope that you're reunited one day. Your ex-husband and ex-in-laws will get this back in this life or the next. I'd prefer "I may never hold you in my arms again" to "In my arms I may never hold you again" because I think inverted sentences sound old-fashioned. I'm not sure whether "preously" should be preciously, previously, or something else. You also need a space between say and the quotation in the last line.

    Hugs,
    Amy

    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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