Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Herodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chrls
    ASL Info:    43/m/louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 43/56/16
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1047



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Herodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shaking hands and crooked back
    a shell of once what was
    Aging bones that creak and crack
    with shuffled steps that pause

    Once so young and full of life
    unlearned but not unwise
    Chose a trade and took a wife
    to love through lows and highs

    Children were an added joy
    to bring into the world
    First and girl and then a boy
    Lives not yet unfurled

    Jobs would come and jobs would go
    always worked so hard
    Pains that some would never know
    body bruised and scarred

    Suns would rise and suns would set
    all throughout the years
    I always tried to make you proud
    Many smiles and tears

    As time goes on these memories
    will always come to mind
    When breezes whisper through the trees
    These thoughts my heart will find

    Again a man as great as this
    the world may never know
    Side by side we did exist
    Daddy - I love you so




    Submitted on 2006-05-10 20:43:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a beautiful tribute to your father.. I like the message and theflow was great.,.. I know his heart will be touched each time he reads this.. who needs hallmark when god gives talent with words right?
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh dear. This one actually made me shed a tear! Its so beautiful, I had to add it to my faves and I will be sharing this with my family when they get home. Keep writing knowing that this touched someone, and maybe your next works will too!
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this was awesome. It was a great description of the way you adore your father. It was amazing...left me speechless!

    Nicely put together, and marvelous ways to describe his life and how much you love him...

    Kassi
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I had no idea the poem was leading up to the last stanza...but it made everything fit together so well. This was very sweet. Glad you had the experience of having a father.

    Kris
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    102704

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Incubus written by monad
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    This written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    What happens written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry