Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Because of Your Habit...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 981



    Description:
       This is about someone I love, but I can't confront her. Things are scary for my family and I because of her habit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBecause of Your Habit...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    All of my life, I knew how you were,
    Staying stoned and denying the world.
    Your attitude towards love and respect,
    Are distorted, twisted, and curled.

    Your selfish ways damage your family,
    Because of your habit, your children suffer.
    Your body is wounded inside and out,
    And the drugs make you no tougher.

    No independence is the cause of your losses,
    Staying happy is the obstacle you face.
    Quit popping the pills and using dope,
    Or another woman will take your place.

    You are killing yourself for the temporary relief,
    But if you would just open your eyes,
    You would see happiness lives with you,
    Inside yours, and your children's lives.

    Killing the pain isn't what you need,
    Confront, conquer, get rid of your strife
    Life doesn't end when you lose what you have,
    Its when your habit takes your life.




    Submitted on 2006-05-11 09:24:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem must of been tough to write but it's awesome and you get your point across clearly the ryming could use a lilttle work but who am I to judge I can't ryme either :P..anyways the poem was deeply touching and made me quite emotional when I read it keep up the good work

    Crys
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
      Love the frank honesty of this poem many times poets such as myself try to make such a fluent sounding poem we forget the point and just pray for you family member and love her. Love goes alot farther than worry.

    much love
    James
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    102770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The World written by jjd
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry