Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Aching Heart


Author: iluvpoetry_1
Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 806 /439 /119
Words: 88
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1303
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 544



Description:


u should totally see me rite now im like dancing in da chair its ridicolous!! haha! this is an old one that i found in da bottom of my backpack!! OOOOO OOO O OO O O OOO! ok im better!! um... i made guard im happy!! color guard is fun!! u should try it no matter how much ur school band sucks!! cuz ares does! ya anyway comment if u wanna its old!
~akaila~


Aching Heart



I want to see the blood
I want to feel the pain

This numb feeling of emptiness
Needs to go away

I need something or someone
To help ease this pain that has
corrupted my soul.

I feel empty inside
So lost and alone.

I want my mind to give up
I want my body to be release
from the pain.

Can someone help me?
Can anyone hear my cry?

I am screaming the scream of a broken heart.

~akaila~




Submitted on 2006-05-11 21:24:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  very great flow, short but good... remember, quality, not quanity...lol, cya laters.
-Austin-
| Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Linkins_knot | [ Reply to This ]
  ahh. u teenage girls and ur stories of woe. are ur lives really that bad? why were u so sad babe? u seem happy when i talk to u
| Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  LMAO I usually dont read other peoples comment but I did for some reason and I find it funny what unknown soldier wrote and kinda agree! U teens didn't live through nothing you don't know what heartache or depression is as when u get older it seems to double what you are going through now! Anyways keep up the excellent work,. peace & stay safe...
| Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



102859