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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Monarchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1477
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 1032



    Description:
       This poem means many things. Some might interpret it as nature and others might find a deeper meaning hidden among the blatant.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Monarchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hurt me now.
    This quick destruction
    gasping in my lungs
    the detailed web of widows weeping
    the monarch has been hung

    Her wings, they speak
    their former glory
    though death still clouds her face
    a velvet soft among the striking
    blacks of former grace

    Sit still, the widow
    sit still waiting,
    breathing in her flesh
    with jealousy, the webs that bind her
    envious threads of mesh

    Her beauty now
    it starts to wander
    from carcasse cold and clean
    with drops of dew upon her coffin
    the web of silver sheen

    The bright compare
    death is seeking
    to steal the monarchs flight
    It draws away the gliding dream
    from the chest as black as night

    One step closer
    the widow's spindle
    reaches twoard her form
    it's so hard for her to know
    this body was once warm





    Submitted on 2006-05-12 15:51:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very beautiful but you lack, I love the poem but I feel like something could have been added but I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe you can...
    | Posted on 2009-04-30 00:00:00 | by Doublefeather | [ Reply to This ]
      I interpret this as being about a Monarch Butterfly trapped in a spider's web? Regardless, it is an excellent poem, with mysterious circumstances, but with good structure, and a good story line. It is mystifying in mood, and has much poetic eloquence in the writing!
    | Posted on 2008-03-31 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nicely done, indeed! I liked it muchly! (on classical literature overload, aye?) I can think of another famous poet from Missouri...can you?? bravo... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very intriguing. I loved the imagery, I'm a very visual person. The rhyme scheme was interesting as well, it took me a moment to make it out. The entire piece could use some more puncuation, to even out the beat. (But that's only a suggestion.) Overall, a decent poem. The first line is demanding an explanation of some sort.

    {Kate}
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by Jester_Gesture | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful imagery! Not sure I like the image so much, but that's just because I'm not into anything describing death of any creature... Everything worked really well, except the last stanza... The last 2 lines just... didn't work for me... Somehow I just don't think the spider would care much that the monarch once had life... Other than that, it was absolutely excellent!

    Nik
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by Siberianhearts | [ Reply to This ]
      I got nature from it. Again, form, rhyme, structure and description was flawless. I like your style and way with words, they always seem to fit so well.

    Another creative and very good write from you - well done.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I totally get it. What a strong feeling of being terminally trapped. Took me a minute to pull it all together. Then it hit me. nice.
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by The Wise Fool | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I'm glad that I chose to look into your work of art here. After you left me that review, I read quite a few of your entries out of curiousity and this currently featured title is by far the best. I admire your brutal yet beautiful style very much. "The Monarch" will shortly be added into my favorites.
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by The Imbroglio | [ Reply to This ]


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