[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Foreverdots

    Author: arianers
    ASL Info:    20/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 7/11/9
    Words: 411
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 937
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2030

       Just a little story I wrote. Boredom, and I'm listening to The Calling - Wherever you will go, and it just inspired me.

    It's about a girl who's been kept away from the world, and from her potential true love, by her aunt. I know that not all aunts are like this, believe me I know, but I'm just trying to be creative here. Enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    She sits and stares out the window. Her smile is nowhere to be found, for it is buried and hidden underneath her bruise. Her aunt finally has her little girl. She may not be her mother, but she didn't deserve to be a mother in the first place.

    She sits and waits for him, but it seems like he has given up. She closes her eyes to keep the tears from coming. "Why aren't you coming for me? You said you'd love me forever." she thought, wishing he could hear what she's thinking. "I wish I never left you. I wish I could run back to you. I wish I could start all over again." Suddenly, her eyes opened, her heart lit up, and her smile appeared. "He's not coming for me, because he is waiting. He's waiting for me to make a decision. He wants to be with me." She stood up, and walked towards the door.

    Her aunt runs behind her, not willing to let her go. "If you walk out that door, you can't come back." said her aunt. She turns around and faces her aunt. Her aunt had no trace of emotion on her face. She looked cold, like always. "Then goodbye." she said to her aunt and looked at her for the last time. This wasn't her forever. She opened the door and left.

    She ran. It felt like forever, but finally, she arrived at the front door. She didn't even have to knock. The door opened, and there he stood. His eyes were drowning in tears, and it seemed like hope had left him. As he looked into her eyes, he knew that she had come back to him. She stood there, and she knew she didn't have to say a word. She ran to him and held him. She held on to him with all her soul. She could go on like that forever, and so could he.

    Forever can be different things. It can be fast, and it can be slow. It is is based on what you want it to be. It can be a good thing and a bad thing, and for her, he was her forever, and that was always good enough.

    Submitted on 2006-05-12 23:35:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Awww... Made me shed a few tears... how dare you make me shed a few tears... It is too sweet... too perfect... If love was always like this... wow I do not even know what would happen if it was always like this... just great... and all the good ones would be taken still... *sighs* good stuff man... great stuff... All the emotions are felt and who can argue with a happy ending?... no one can... loved to read the story...

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      If you wanted to make it dramatic, he could have already had agirl there. THAT would make you shed a tear and a half. It was good, short though. Nice short story. What I want to know is does the relationship work out?

    Maybe if you get bored again, you could write a sequel how the aunt tried to take the main character back or something.
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by MowsysWrath | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    prison written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Love written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Carry written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]