[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Awaydots

    Author: Star
    ASL Info:    15 F WI
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 125/127/42
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 984

       umm yea i kno it kinda doesnt flow well but tell me how you feel bout it so yeah thanks...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    She watched silently
    as the ambulance drove away
    carrying her mother from her

    She saw people looking out at her
    with worried glances
    they let the curtains fall and walked away

    No one could feel this torn up inside
    She fell to the ground with tears in her eyes
    Screaming and punching the sidewalk

    "Why?" she yelled
    Why did this happen

    Her mother had choices
    and made the wrong one
    Which left her to fight with no one

    Yelling and screaming echoed in her head
    A slap across the face then nothing
    She had looked over to see her mother had fallen

    No movement

    She moved closer and
    as she did she wiped the blood off her lip
    shaking her mother with no avail

    gone away like everyone else

    Submitted on 2006-05-13 01:52:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm afraid of losing my mom so I could see this happening to me. The feeling of responseability and abandonment flooded over me. I scared me and open my eyes a bit more.
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by mcknight92 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]